THE WEREWOLF SYNDROME

I call myself Angrywolf...I am new here..My wife's name was Rose..we had two children..a son and a daughter...Rose had had two strokes and hard to manage diabetes...but she seemed to be getting better and stronger...So I came home from work one night and found her lying dead on the couch from a heart attack...Half of me died that night...A few months later my mom was diagnosed with terminal cancer and she died...and I knew then..that I was lost..There was no hope for me...If my mom had lived she could have helped me survive the death of Rose..without her..I knew it was over..And it is over...

Angrywolf Hi and welcome,

I too suffer from depression.I'am sorry to hear about your wife and your mother.You say you have two kid's if you don't mind me asking how old are they?

I know that it has been a terrible loss for you and your kid's they lost there mom and grandmother.I know as painfull as it is your two kid's need there father and that is something to live for.Please keep in touch with us so we know how you are doing.

May GOD be with you and your family.I will keep you in my prayers and thought's.


Curley...........
a.k.a.Mela.........

 Angry Wolf,

Dear Angrywolf,

I am soooo sorry that you now belong to the widow/widowers club. I too lost a husband while I had two small children. For me, it happened to be the final act in a five year stretch of bad things happening all around me and to me. Somehow, my faith took over immediately and put ALL my trust in the Lord. It wasn't a good-two-shoes act . . . it was a gift from God. He just, somehow, gave me a 'knowing' that everything would be ok. But that didn't take away the process of grieving.

I NEVER thought I would EVER want to marry again or even be loved by another man. I just didn't have ANY desire for that. Although my trust was in God, I still went through the whole grieving process and jumped every time the phone rang . . . for an instant thinking it might be him . . . and then feeling stabbed with the reality that he was gone. Every day was filled with thoughts of him. Every meal I cooked, I had to remind myself that I wasn't cooking for 4 anymore.

Well fast forward a good number of years and last week I celebrated my 26th wedding anniversary with my 'new' husband. Hubby is a wonderful man, a gift from God, a gift I did not ask for. I never would have believed that I could bond with another man and live a happy life. But God made a way for me. God can make a way, when there seems to be no way.

Thank you for sharing with us. I know that is a painful thing to do. Your advice to others might serve you well if you re-read your posts. But you do need to allow yourself to grief this loss. That takes time friend.

Be very careful about the attitude you choose in dealing with this. Your children are watching you very carefully and their hope is sometimes limited by the hope that you have. My kids, I think, are really what got me through the initial crises. They needed me and I, like you, was there for them.

You are in my prayers friend.

Blessings!

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In His Grip,

Wolf, first of all, my heart goes out to you. I'm very sorry for your losses. I am glad you are surrounded by your kids. They are your world now.

Am glad you posted. Writing is good for the soul, gets alot of thoughts out of your head and even if you don't want to, sometimes a daily journal might be quite useful.

Have you considered talking to a therapist? I say this because I am recognizing some things in you that I have inside of me -Especially when it comes to death and the feelings that come afterwards....I'm suggesting that you talk to your doctor about Cognitive behaviour Therapy. Will help with the anxiety, depression. Talk therapy. Can be done with or without meds. Anyway, just a suggestion for you.

You DO sound like a very honest, nice and giving person. I know you like helping others and that feeling one gets from knowing they made a difference in somebody's life - on or offline friends - Don't forget about you! Reach out as much as you can and if you need to talk to somebody when you're feeling low, don't be afraid to ask for help.

Hugs to you.
Take care.
Red09

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Thank you all for your replies...I 've been there and done that..I 've been in a support group..been through therapy...am on meds..been in widow/widower groups...None of that helps..I am a skeptical person by nature and hard to convince without proof..........
I know all about the forbidden S word..which I won't mention. I just know the best of my life is in the past...and the future is empty...
I have kids..so I don'''t drink or use drugs other than my meds...because I don't want to become dependent...So there's really nothing I enjoy anymore..no fun...no enjoyment..I just want my kids to grow up and go and leave me..because..smile...they will be better off..
I do write a lot....for one of the local forums..about crime, science,politics..that sort of thing...It helps divert me sometimes...
Sorry but I have given up on religion...in fact I believe God has cursed my family..that he has turned away from us and doesn't love us...I guess I must be responsible for that..I wasn't a good enough person to please him......I use to be active in the church..we use to go and say prayers over the sick ....my wife. children and I would sing to them...they enjoyed that.....I would serve them communion..Pray for people in need before the congregation......all those sort of things...I guess it wasn't enough...We did those things out of our love for people..but I guess it simply wasn't enough...
But thank you all for your words of kindness and encouragement.