I call myself Angrywolf...I am new here..My wife's name was Rose..we had two children..a son and a daughter...Rose had had two strokes and hard to manage diabetes...but she seemed to be getting better and stronger...So I came home from work one night and found her lying dead on the couch from a heart attack...Half of me died that night...A few months later my mom was diagnosed with terminal cancer and she died...and I knew then..that I was lost..There was no hope for me...If my mom had lived she could have helped me survive the death of Rose..without her..I knew it was over..And it is over...
I bought a computer and I go online to help other people in need...I have made a few friends...and some people have even told me I have helped them...I hope that I have...I believe that most people can survive the loss of a spouse..or other loved one..I just am not one of those people..I know I will never be happy again..Never able to love a woman again...Never feel happiness in my heart again...I am helping the kids to get grown up..helping my other relatives...trying to inspire my online friends and other friends..although I know there is nothing anybody can do to help me..I am on Effexor and Wellbuterin...I don't like them thatmuch..but since there's nothing that can help me anyway..I have chosen to remain on them...
Recently I have started experiencing chest pains and shortness of breath..so I went to my doctor...I have a stress test scheduled for thursday...I'm not going into my Red Foxx/Fred Sanford routinewhere he grabbed his chest and say....Elizabeth..I coming to you honey..I can feel the big one...although Red Foxx did die of a heart attack ironically...Wanting to just let go...if I had a choice...if I had a chance....of going...and leaving all the pain in this old heart of mine behind...will be something I will be wondering about when I am on the treadmill...
I don't want any of you to feel sorry for me...I just want all of you who read this..to find some hope..a small measure of hope..that things can get better..then build upon that..to make them better...
Take care everyone............................................