First off, STOP!!!! Breathe in through your nose and let out of your mouth. The first thing you need to do is sit alone in a quiet place and meditate and think about your life first. You can't help everyone if your a mess yourself. Second, why are you assuming the responsibilities of the entire family? As far as I can see, you need the help more then they do and also sounds to me like they are making their own issues and ASSuming PC will take care of them. I thought I told you last time you needed to have time for you. That is no life for you.
This is a big mess. Your sister with the 6 kids ahouldn't have 6 kids but it's too late for that now. I am going to say this and if I hurt your feelings I apologize. Personally, I think each member of your family has made their own problems. Your sister is selfish and needs to snap out of it. Does she have a father for these kids and does he live with her and the kid? Also, if your mom has a Psycho, let him listen to her problems. YOU CANNOT BE ALL THINGS TO ALL PEOPLE. You are the one going to have a nervous breakdown if you don't tone it down.
I understand what you are saying about your mom needing someone to vent to, but she needs to realize that you have a life too. If you don't settle down, you're gonna lose it and will be no good to yourself or them. Sounds like your mom needs treatment. On the subject on "God" letting her live, it's not a question of not and to. It's a statement that the Lord will call her home when He wants her. She is not ready yet and I hope she has asked the Lord forgive her of her past sins and tell Him how much she wants Him in her heart. Your sister sounds like a very selfish person, (sorry) and needs counseling herself. Maybe she's better off not helping your mom. Who knows. The tables may turn making things worse.
On the issue of your mom getting anti-deprassants, you can't make her take them. She has to want to because even if she does take them, her body is litterally fighting them. Where do you go from here????? If I were you, personally I would get as far away as possible. I'm sure they will manage without. You need to care for you. You cannot take care of everyone's lives. You are young and have you life ahead of you. I'm sure you love your mom, but PC, you can't be all things to everyone. The more I read the more I roll my eyes. I always print the difficult posts so I can answer line by line. Your sisters on drugs??? So, what are you supposed to do for her. I was an addict for almost 10 years and I went into it alone and got off alone and have been in recovery 1,157 days today. She don't want to get clean.
OK...help for you? You asked, I'm answering. PC, like I said, you have your own issues and illness and if you don't stop, you will not even be here for yourself never mind the others. You have got to get your life in order. I suggest you call on the powers that be. My Lord can open and close any doors he see's fit. If your nosey sister wants to know what your mother said on her visit with you, tell her to have your mom come over there and she will tell her herself.
OK....here is the skinny. If you can leave, leave. If you can't leave, pull the phone out of the wall. If you can, don't let anyone into your house. Call them all first and tell them you are going into seclusion and it's because you can't deal with your issues let alone theirs. Tell them you are taking a retreat and if you have insurance, I think it would be good for you to go into treatment. Let me tell you, it will bring you to reality real fast. This makes me feel so bad for you. You are not supposed to be raising this family. You are a "branch on a tree" and not the roots and trunk. I will devote my prayers for you today. If you need us, we are here. Hugs and loves
There is no such word as can't. Can't simply means wouln't. Grab as much as life as you can. Future is a long way away for those who don't believe. Don't build a foundation of life on sand. It will take it away with the tide. Love a little more, be unkind a lot less.
Post Edited (Having2LeftFeet) : 6/16/2005 1:47:55 PM (GMT-6)