I too can relate to your situation. Early in June I hit rock bottom again. I didn't care about
anything for a good two weeks. I mean I was really down so down I was ready to call it quits on everything. I was litterally scared. I was crying all the time and all i wanted to do was stay home and in bed. Its been a couple of weeks since then and I feel like a completely different person than how I was last month. I don't know what triggered my episode but it wasn't fun and it scared me. I didn't trust myself so much that I would carpool to work if I could make it to work. I just didn't trust myself behind the wheel. I don't want to feel that way any more. Anyway, I'm ready to work with my docs on finding the right meds for me. I'm scared about
it all but I've been having these "episodes" for years and I'm sick of them. I feel like I'm up right now like I'm fine like I don't need help but I know me to well whose to say I won't have another bad episode a couple of months from now. I couldn't make it to work for a couple of days during that time it still baffles me even today why I got so low. I just remember being in tears one afternoon and looking in the mirror feeling like such a complete failure that I looked myself right in the eye and said I give up. I was ready to end it right then and there but I didn't only because I'm afraid of dying and death I would never go through with harming myself at least I don't think I would but its a thought that's never far from my mind and I don't want to live like that any more.
Post Edited By Moderator (AlwaysRosie) : 7/20/2005 9:13:52 PM (GMT-6)