Hi Adria.....I just wanted to tell you that I hide behind a mask. I spend all of my days crying, curled up in a ball and I am so lonely that sometimes it feels like I just want to die. I have been ill for a very long time. Little by little my friends gave up on me and my family does not understand, I think they feel helpless. I know I do. The hopelessness covers me like a blanket and I get so tired of hiding it. Just because I don't want to live depressed all of the time, it does not mean that I do not want to live or that I am suicidal. However I do not think there are to many people who have not had that thought at least once in their life. I have a disease that there is no cure for. Lyme Disease. I have lost the last 13 years of my life. I am confined to a bed and isolated from the outside world. If it were not for my faith, I do not know what I would do. I really believe you will come through this victorious, God may have a special plan for your life and you have to go through this in order to be effective in what he has for you. I know how hard it is to get up. Sometimes I cry because I wake up and have to go through it all another day. No one understands unless they have been there. The main thing is there are meds out there that will help. Not all of them cause weight gain. The next thing to do is Talk. Find someone you can let all of your feelings out to. It helps me to tell the total truth about
the way I feel about
life, I go through more kleenex than Moby **** had minnows! You are not alone and you are not crazy. It is not your fault and it is not in your head. Nobody wants to feel like this all of the time. It is horrible. Adria...I am here for you anytime,,,day or night...I do not want to push you but if you decide you would like my e-mail just say the word. Maybe we can help one another.
You hang in there and don't be so hard on yourself. Some times we all need to lean. I am leaning....you can lean on me and we can hold one another up!! That should be a pretty picture
.....Bye for now and I hope to hear from you!!! Kokoe