Hi everyone. I am a new member as well. I'm 32 years old and a single working mom. I can't say how long I have been depressed but it definitely was long before I began regular therapy which I have been doing for the past 2 - 3 years. Today, I had a physical. A normal thing right? Well, my emotional eating has me at a weight of 255. From the moment I stepped on the scale and the medical asst. pushed the bottom weight from 150 to 200 then 250 and then began tapping the smaller one, I knew I was going to have a downward spiral.
Depression is hard especially when you have kids because you can't be down and out for too long. I have learned to run on what I call "autopilot" but sometimes, you can be talking to me and I am not even "there". I understand this "abyss" ROE speaks of in her post and poem and I am glad to hear CheerDad say that he has heard it too but turns from it. It is my children (12, 14, 16 and 17) that I think of but as they get older and they aren't consuming my time like they used to, I find I don't know what to do with the time on my hands except drift further and further with a fake smile on my face so people don't think that I'm crazy or weird.
I guess I looked up this forum and registered because I am tired of feeling like no one understands my feelings or worrying that people will label me if they really knew what I was going through while they are all praising me talking about how STRONG I must be. I don't feel what they see...I wish I could.