Sometimes I feel down for no reason. Well, down doesn't just explain it. It feels like there's a giant black hole in my chest, like an empty cavity. It just happens, one minute I am happy- the next I feel so down I can't smile or laugh, or even talk sometimes. I've been like this for as long as I can remember, I'm guessing it started around the time I was bullied, or maybe even before, from when my troubles at home began- I can't put an exact pin point on it.
One of the things I can't stand, is when I'm like this, I know I get obsessively jealous and paranoid and controlling even, I'm not aggressive about
it- I will just be quiet and unhappy and push those around me away, until I'm alone in my own little bubble of sadness. The person who would see this the most is my boyfriend, I guess. He's always there for me, no matter how much I unwillingly push him away with my change in moods.
I can go from being so happy, to extreamly low in a matter of seconds sometimes, and not only is it upsetting- it makes me feel alone and I feel like I can't talk to anyone, in fear of being a disappointment.
Post Edited (HWU) : 6/15/2013 5:57:02 PM (GMT-6)