Posted 6/20/2013 8:19 PM (GMT -6)
Angelic, I'm not usually on this forum but was checking for spam and saw your post. I went through something similar with my husband. He suffered from depression but neither of us knew it. I know that sounds strange but back then people didn't talk about depression and you had to see a psychiatrist to get antidepressant medication, too. Anyway, neither of us communicated well. I would try and when I wasn't getting the response I felt I should get, I would clam up. That got us nowhere fast.
It was rough for a while but we both knew that deep down we loved each other and it was worth the work to keep the marriage going. We had three small children at the time.
I then found out about chemical imbalances, talked to my husband and explained this to him and he was willing to listen, too. He agreed to see the psychiatrist and get the medication he needed. What a difference that made and our marriage made full circle and we both were very happy again.
Marriages usually reach a fork in the road. We just have to decide to both go down the same path instead of different directions. It does take work on both parts and also give and take on both parts, too, but it can be done if both parties want it badly enough.
It sounds like your husband does want to keep this marriage going and you sound like you do too. I do think you both should sit down and tell each other how much you love one another. The love is there from what I can see in your posts. He could have been having a bad time and sometimes we say things we truly regret. I do suggest that you both agree to be open and honest with one another, though. Trust is a huge issue in a marriage.
You are not a failure. Both of you have made mistakes, and hey, who doesn't! Just make sure you have learned from the mistakes. Just start looking towards the future together and don't look back since you can't change the past but you can work towards a bright future.
Also, I wouldn't give a lot of weight about his parents. Parents usually stand behind their children in situations like this. When I was dating my husband, I broke up with him once and his parents said some not so nice things to him about me to make him feel better. When we got back together he made the mistake of telling me. Yes, I was hurt but I knew I needed to forgive them, which I did. We became wonderful friends and I adored my in-laws. Forgiveness is important in all aspects of this situation.
I will be praying that this all will work out for you. It will not happen overnight but, if you take one day at a time and work together. I think it could work out fine.
Fibromyalgia, Crohn's Disease, Ostomy, Autoimmune Inner Ear Disease, Diabetes, Osteoporosis, Glaucoma, Scoliosis, Ankylosing Spondylitis
God does not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. 2 Timothy 1:7