Hello Everyone!!!! I'm new to this place and I'm hoping I can get some help. First of all, I've been depressed since I was like 12. I guess I should give you a brief history of what has happened. When I was little I was the kid everyone made fun of and nobody ever wanted to sit by, but I'm over that now LOL....When I was 14 my parents got seperated, and at the same time I started getting these severe stomach pain that felt like it was in my chest. I went to the emergency rooms and urgent cares and my family doctor and all they did was blood tests and an upper GI and nothing turned up...so they diagnosed me with depression (they said it was because my parents where geting divorced), gas, and GERD. So i beleived them and was put on Paxil and meds for my stomach and I cut out all dairy and stuff and still got these pains that came about
5 ngihts out of the week and on a scale i'd put it at a 10....only a hot bath seemed to help....Well the paxil put me out of it...i slept ALL day long, literally, and was even more depressed. Well this went on for a year when finally a doctor that was taking over for my original doctor ordered a ultrasound and found Gall Stones, I had these for a FREAKIN year!!!! SO they did surgery and I was better, then a few weeks later I started getting the pains again and found out I had pancreatitas (due to a deformed pancreas), and I've been having this on and off for 7 years now..WELL i then went off and had my first child at 16 cause I had absoulty no adult supervision and my mom got heavily into drugs and I was craving attention, and my 2nd at 18...I love my kids to death and it's very hard raising them on my own, their father physically abused me so I took off. And of course through the raising my kids on my own and being on disability due to chronic pancreatitas and fibromyalgia, I would guess it's expected I would have depression. But becasue of the way the paxil made me feel when I was 14, I'm scared to take any med like that again, cause my depression went VERY bad. WELL now my psychiatrist is begging me to be on Lexapro to help. And lately I have been having trouble getting myself to do anything outside the house. I even went and bought myself a brand new car to cheer myself up, and it's out in the carport collecting dust LOL. So thats how I know i must be seriously depressed, and I'm not suicidal or wanna hurt myself, but i need some hope and some help. My family calls me crazy so i get no support from them and my friends are no help either due to other reasons.
So I guess what i'm asking is that maybe I can get some support and maybe even reminders in why taking the medicine is important to me. That would be freat. I hope I am not asking too much. Sorry if this is such a long letter. Well take care everyone and hope to hear from someone soon.