Hello Kita and welcome,
If you sat down with a therapist he/she would likely tell you that "you are not responsible for your husband's happiness, he is!".
On the other hand, no one else is responsible for your happiness but you.
Sometimes we act a certain way to avoid a reaction from our spouse. It could be that you are walking around on your tippy toes trying not to upset things and that might be part of the problem. Be yourself. If he hurts your feelings, tell him. Live your life and he wants to join you, fine. But, if he doesn't, don't let that stop you from doing your thing (providing that you respect his needs and honor him).
Please don't blame youself for his suicidal thoughts. Only he is in control of that and it sounds like he is manipulative to boot.
I hope some of the others have some advice for you too. Hang in there sis!
In His Grip,
AlwaysRosie "We can't control the waves, but we can learn to surf!"
UCTD (Undifferentiated Connective Tissue Disease), Hashimoto's, Plantar Fasciitis, Inflamatory Arthritis, High BP, GI Inflamation, Diverticuloses
Plaquenil, Methotrexate, Metanx, Synthroid, RX Motrin, Lexapro, Amitriptelyne, Salagen, Lotrel