Randy has some good advice for you. If you are not treating your depression, you should definately go for it. Chronic illness is very hard on us and most of us with chronic illness do rely on an anti-d. In the lupus forum some of us post our meds, just so others will know that we do trust these meds to help us along.
One thing your partner might be seeing is "energy to do the things you love". I know that for me, I can come up with an extra ounce of energy to tend to needs that matter to me. If I overdo in those areas, my hubby might become resentful and think I am using my illness as an 'excuse' to get out of things I don't enjoy. We really have to strike a good balance in how we use our sparse enegy with chronic illness. Also make sure that his needs are met. Trying to say this politely, but men do have needs and there is more than one way to handle that. Men don't really love us for how we look or act, but for "how they feel about
themselves when they are with us". Does he feel good about
himself when he is with you? You can give him positive feedback whenever he is leaning in the right direction. Beyond the normal respect, love and care that you put in as a partner, you are not responsible for his happiness. And, if you are feeling guilty . . . it's NOT attractive.
You might want to search the internet for a conicise, direct, background for chrohns. Something that reflects your journey. Print it out and share it with him. It really IS hard for someone else to understand how our chronic illness affects us. I think Randy gave you good advice about
the fact that most people will never 'get it' anyway. But your partner should understand the basics.
DO baby him when he isn't feeling well. Treat him how you would like to be treated. I bend over backwards when hubby isn't well. He puts up with so much of my being unable to do so many things.
It has taken a fair amount of time for us to be on the same page with my ability to do or not do certain things, but he trusts me now and I really appreciate that. He'll even comment if thinks I am overdoing. (That's a new thing.)
Just want to encourage you sis. Keep us posted!!
In His Grip,
AlwaysRosie "We can't control the waves, but we can learn to surf!"
UCTD (Undifferentiated Connective Tissue Disease), Hashimoto's, Plantar Fasciitis, Inflamatory Arthritis, High BP, GI Inflamation, Diverticuloses
Plaquenil, Methotrexate, Metanx, Synthroid, RX Motrin, Lexapro, Amitriptelyne, Salagen, Lotrel
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