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Regular Member

Date Joined Feb 2005
Total Posts : 472
   Posted 7/4/2005 8:41 PM (GMT -6)   
Been lurking about for over 2 weeks , reading and watching. I have known this for a while, and now I want to share this thought with you, but I think you all really know about this already. Have you ever noticed that when there is a "bad news" topic or a "sad situation" topic or when there is a really "seriously bad topic", we all jump on them. We respond as fast and white on rice. We give good hearted and sensitive reply's, but the good news posts don't hardly get very many relpies. Is it the "morbid curiousity" we want to hear or is it just bad news that makes us feel helpful with good advice and comfort. 
Another thing that I notice is that when advice is asked for, only the members that really know the answer or the place to go for the right answer respond. I guess this is one reason I have been "sitting in the shadows" because I am wondering if perhaps I am guilty of one of  these topics. I am a "helper" or at least try to more than I ask for help or whine. When I do, it is for a good reason and If I get get the comfort I need here, I know I can't get it anywhere. I consider everyone, old and new members, to be my family, my comfort and my solice. There have been times when I need help and I feel like I am not getting my point across and very few reply. I do hope that I didn't offend anyone or respond in an improper way. Sad news is not a shortage in this world right now, but good news is few and far between. Life really is a struggle and so many people are hurting. Children are especially hurting and parents aren't there for comfort. It is sad. I get very emotional at times where my husband doesn't like me to watch the news if I cry or get dispondent. What is happening to our coutry. We are supposed to protect our children. Some parents aren't doing that. They are way more interested in their own personal social lives and split homes and I had the same issue too, but one thing that never came last was my daughters. They came first no matter what. I wake up in the middle of the night thinking of a dream I might have had and it scares me because of my grandchildren. I pray all the time for all children to have a shot of a good life and if they don't get good morals and the right way to go when they are young, they will grow up exactly in the atmosphere as they are living in. It's not fair to them. Whether we have kids or not, I think that we should so everything we can to help them have a shot at life to be prodoctive adults. Perhaps there are some people that don't care and feel they have enough problems of they're own, however, when you think about your problems in comparison with the children and the way they are raised with no direction, vision, encouragement, love, esteem and pride, they will never make it. I hope you read this and post your thoughts.
There is no such word as can't. Can't simply means wouln't. Grab as much as life as you can. Future is a long way away for those who don't believe. Don't build a foundation of life on sand. It will take it away with the tide. Love a little more, be unkind a lot less.

New Member

Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 12
   Posted 7/5/2005 8:23 AM (GMT -6)   
I do agree, I think that it is human nature to try to help when times are bad. But support at all times is so important too. I know that you posted back to me when I talked about my husbands death and felt great comfort in knowing that people were there to understand and support me. I am not sure if I am even touching upon your issues, but I know for a fact that the good in life is too few and far between and we need to celebrate it!

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2004
Total Posts : 4151
   Posted 7/5/2005 8:27 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Lefty,
Personally, I find it very difficult myself to reply to posts on bad topics. I am always afraid that I may say the wrong thing to make the person feel worse than they already do so instead, I will just choose not to reply. This doesn't mean that I don't care about what the person is going through, it just means that I have never been really good at giving advise especially when I'm having a hard time myself at the moment. I read the posts and keep the people in my thoughts but I won't post just to post. BTW... missed you :)
Des (dbab)
IBS, Diverticulosis, GERD, Disc Degeneration
"If you don't like something change it; if you can't change it, change the way you think about it" - Mary Engelbreit

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 8616
   Posted 7/5/2005 2:43 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Lefty,

If I can't help I usually don't post because I don't want to waste anyone's time. I never noticed that bad news gets more responses. I know that the longer strings usually have follow-up questions and answers.

I think sometimes readers skip or skim through long posts. Some don't have lots of time to read. I try to read all the posts but when I get a day or two behind it is overwhelming with a couple of forums to catch up on.

So sorry you feel 'guilty'. You have been an avid responder . . . just look at your posting leverl for the few months you've been here (357) . . . that is quite a bit of support you've added to the forum.

Please don't be so hard on yourself. Glad to see you posting again sis!!

In His Grip,
AlwaysRosie      "We can't control the waves, but we can learn to surf!"
Psalms 139
UCTD (Undifferentiated Connective Tissue Disease), Hashimoto's, Plantar Fasciitis, Inflamatory Arthritis, High BP, GI Inflamation, Diverticuloses
Plaquenil, Methotrexate, Metanx, Synthroid, RX Motrin, Lexapro, Amitriptelyne, Salagen, Lotrel
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