well today is the day

 dam was hoping this day would not come.but today is the day my son and my girl of 5yrs leaves.Didnt want to wake up today but i got to be strong and get through this.It just sux 6 yrs go by and just the other day i find out {still haveing trouble beleiveing this is real} what is wrong with me. i told her i was blinded please understand i never wanted to hurt u if she could find it in her heart to stay and be there with me so i can give her the man she deserves.I did hurt her, gave her nothing at  all. All i  wanted was to be alone all  the time. I just dont know why i was  like this. Cant understand y.i love her y did i do this.I know she still loves me and wants to stay but she is scaried that nothing is gonna change and i dont blame her.But now i see whats wrong i want help i want us to be that happy family but its to late.I just wish she can understand whats wrong and be there.Cause with me finding this out about myself just a day ago and now she leaveing crap this is hard.Its amazeing how i didnt see this its just mind blowing.All these yeras go by and from talking to a friend who lives this for me to realize this is me.And the funny thing is when u talk to ppl who dont understand they think u are crazy lol.I wont lie here i never believed in this either but crap now i do.But later tonite i will be taken them to her sister house and then thats that.Just wish i seen this along time ago before all this happened but  dam how was i so blinded and not thinking this was not ok to be like that. But i cant and dont want to be that moody,angry ,mad,no feeling,being alone person no more. Just wish i can give back to her and fill her heart with love.To everyone out there get that help for that love one that u are with dont let it be to late to save what u got DO IT.For me it was to late in seeing that i have depression and im loseing everything  in my life goodluck everyone.Im glad i found this site to get my feeling out thxs healingwell.

thxs man.  hey but i keep blameing myself i let her down and now i got to go through this.i agree with the lip thing but y dont she see what it was from being the person i should of been.everything is happing so fast just hard.its really gonna hit me when i come home to a empty house tonight.dam my family is really leaveing wow.

Hi, I just wanted to say please hang in there and don't give up on your life or your love! Yes, I know you are feeling sad over your girl wanting to leave. But things can still work out for the two of you. You just have to get tough with yourself and make yourself go get some help. A therapist would be a good start. Or you could go to your family Dr and let him prescribe a med to help with the depression. Antidepressant meds do work. I know. I was just like you for well over a year. But the meds have helped to lift me out of the "do nothing" days!!!!!((((((WHAT))))))

I am so sorry this has happened to you, but like the cliche goes, "When one door closes, another opens". You sound like a good person and for every action there is a reaction. Maybe God has something in store from you, even though these words will not comfort I am hoping they will give you the drive to go on. When you lose someone you love more than anything, nothing can replace it, or so we think. It is so easy for some to say, "O, get over it", Too bad it's not that easy. I will read your posts and re-post. Hopefully we can help. Everyone is here for one reason or another. You are just part of the group. God bless!

 

"Lefty"

---

There is no such word as can't. Can't simply means wouln't. Grab as much as life as you can. Future is a long way away for those who don't believe. Don't build a foundation of life on sand. It will take it away with the tide. Love a little more, be unkind a lot less.