Problems With My Daughter

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Regular Member

Date Joined Feb 2005
Total Posts : 472
   Posted 7/12/2005 12:01 PM (GMT -6)   
If some of you remember, I spoke about my daughter who hasn't spoken to me since Feb. Well, the Lord has put this conviction on me and I have had a hard time sleeping because it's there and I fell I have to deal with it. So, I called her yesterday (Monday) and all I said was, "Hi, Stephanie, it's mom". Right away, she starts a rant. I told her I didn't call her to fight, I called to mend fences as the Lord was telling me I needed to do this and Mohamad went to the mountain. I told her I didn't care what happened 4 months ago or 4 days ago. She said some harsh things like she was mad that when I went to Florida 2004 for the birth of my 3rd grandson, I didn't spend enough time with them. She told me she was mad because I asked her if I could pull up my E mail and she said OK but then yesterday she says that I had no right to be doing that instead of spending time with the kids. She said I forgot to log off and she saw I had 132 E mails. I then said, "So what does that tell you"? It tells me I didn't get to my E mails as the baby was crying and I changed his diaper and was holding him when she came home from taking my 8 yr old grandson to a school thing. Katie, my granddaughter was right there in the room with me playing with her toys. This is so bogus. She spoke to me up until Feb. 2005 until I found out her husband lost his job before Christmas 2004. He got fired but she told everyone he was working too many hours so, I estimate he is working a new FT job and working T-F-S night as a bouncer. TOO MANY HOURS!That's when she got defensive. I asked her why I had to hear it from my other daughter and she said it was no big deal. Well, it was to me as she has 3 children, a big house and loves to spend money.  She also didn't tell me that he was hit by a drunk driver and got hurt but was OK.
I told her I wanted to put all the trash behind us and start fresh. I had no communication with my grandchildren and it hurt me. I feel her reasons were bogus but all I want to do is get on with it. She said OK and that's how we settled it. O, one more thing, my husband who is not her biological father nor is my other daughter, made out his will and his benefits plan with his company and left $10,000 to each one of the grandchildren, 5 in all,  and said he did it to please me. He knew that I would be happy, however, the stipulation was for college or age 25. WOW....she didn't say anything about that when she got the papers. Isn't life funny!
Sue yeah

Veteran Member

Date Joined Apr 2004
Total Posts : 2284
   Posted 7/12/2005 12:34 PM (GMT -6)   
Don't know what to tell you other than glad you made the effort. Just remember that while you feel her reasons are bogus they are very real to her (something I am trying to do in my own family situation). I keep telling myself to follow the example set by God and have patience and be long suffering. How long that is, only He knows.
We can respond to irritation with a smile instead of scowl, or by giving warm praise instead of icy indifference. By our being understanding instead of abrupt, others, in turn, may decide to hold on a little longer rather than to give way. Love, patience, and meekness can be just as contagious as rudeness and crudeness.
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Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 8616
   Posted 7/13/2005 9:01 PM (GMT -6)   
Wow Sue,

I am not sure . . . but I think your post says that you two are speaking now. If I read that right, that's the important thing. You did good by making a move toward reconciliation.

As Dr. Phil says, if you lower your expectations, you won't be so easily hurt. You are a living example of that.

Glad you called and got the ball rolling . . . life is too precious to wait.

Hugs and Blessings!
In His Grip,
AlwaysRosie          "We can't control the waves, but we can learn to surf!"
Psalms 139
UCTD (Undifferentiated Connective Tissue Disease), Hashimoto's, Plantar Fasciitis, Inflamatory Arthritis, High BP, GI Inflamation, Diverticuloses
Plaquenil, Methotrexate, Metanx, Synthroid, RX Motrin, Lexapro, Amitriptelyne, Salagen, Lotrel

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