Teen boy "acting out"

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fair skies
Regular Member

Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 39
   Posted 7/12/2005 2:01 PM (GMT -7)   
Please tell me whether or not my teen boy is acting out from anxiety/depression or teen rebellion. He's been in bad shape, mentally, for some time and the psychia & psycholo's can't quite figure it out. They have diagnosed him with severe anxiety and depression with, at one time but not now, psychotic episodes. He is on Zoloft and was on Abilify. Abilify seemed to help him act happier and normal, but it also causes a rare side effect of erections.

The problem is, besides his being anxious and depressed, that he sabotages relationships with friends, aggravates everyone, and has no apparent sense of guilt. Scolding him is like talking to a brick wall. He cries sincerely and admits that he doesn't now why he does these things, but he keeps doing them. Something has to give here. He hasn't been the same since coming home from visiting with his father last year. He's a different child. I feel so sorry for him, yet I want to scream!!!!

Any comments, helpful tips, or suggestions?

fair skies
Regular Member

Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 39
   Posted 7/12/2005 2:11 PM (GMT -7)   
In follow up, the doctors are treating him for anxiety and depression and as if he is having post traumatic stress disorder. As I stated before, he came home from his dad's acting pscyotic. Never had I EVER seen or noticed anything of the sort before. He said he hated his dad and that dad had put a spell on him. Freaked me out. He's never been the same. I guess I should ask if it's even possible to put a 'spell' on someone.

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Date Joined Apr 2004
Total Posts : 2284
   Posted 7/12/2005 3:20 PM (GMT -7)   
Wish I could help you out here. I don't believe that someone can cast a "spell" on anyone. I do believe that the fathers behavior can have a dramatic impact on the lives of their children. Have you been able to find out what went on when your son was at his father's? I would guess that there is some triggering event or events that occured and this is your son's way of escaping them.
We can respond to irritation with a smile instead of scowl, or by giving warm praise instead of icy indifference. By our being understanding instead of abrupt, others, in turn, may decide to hold on a little longer rather than to give way. Love, patience, and meekness can be just as contagious as rudeness and crudeness.
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fair skies
Regular Member

Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 39
   Posted 7/12/2005 3:34 PM (GMT -7)   

One day he was fine, although I think depressed a bit for some time, and then he was out of his mind - delirious and has been battling with something ever since. Anytime his Dad leaves a voice mail or sends him something he freaks, goes into a psychotic state, and throws the letter away. The psych suggests that he not hear the voice mails or read any letters. I wish so badly that I knew if something did or did not happen while at his dad's that weekend over a year ago, but my son says he can't remember anything other than fighting over him not wanting to be there. His dad plays and played cruel mind games with him, but I don't know - is that enough to send someone into a psychotic state? Desperate for answers and noone has them.

fair skies
Regular Member

Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 39
   Posted 7/25/2005 7:27 AM (GMT -7)   
Yes. It is scary that his personality changed in one weekend. He attempted to run away from his Dad's that weekend and was froffing at the mouth, crying, clinging to cars, etc. I made him return to his Dad's house for the rest of the wknd so as to comply with the law which I am so mad at myself for doing. I have spent a few thousand dollars since that fateful weekend last year to get my son back to normal, but I fear that he will not be the same again. He insists nothing heynous (sp?) went on other than verbal arguing and mind games, but I would guess that something did and he cannot remember. I know that just arguing, fighting, etc. with one's parent does not make one go virtually mad. This mixed with puberty is a highly complicated, frustrating thing. As for DHS investigating, etc. - I've given up on justice being done by our legal system. The courts are so intent on giving the non-custodial a fair chance that they ignore the obvious. His Dad abused him physically 3 years ago because he would not tell him 'why' he did not love him and didn't want to be there. Eventually he got his full visitation again even though my son begged the Judge not to make him return. I've pretty much lost faith in justice. Hopefully, prayerfully, time will heal and he will, I swear, never be made to return to his father again against his will.

As for the meds, I will investigate other options as the sleep deprivation is making his life additional hell.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 8616
   Posted 7/25/2005 5:04 PM (GMT -7)   
Prayers for you and your son Fair Skies.

Hugs, prayers and blessings!
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fair skies
Regular Member

Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 39
   Posted 7/26/2005 2:48 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks for the encouragement, Rosie. Have a wonderful evening.

New Member

Date Joined Sep 2005
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 9/3/2005 5:03 PM (GMT -7)   

I am new to this site but when I read of your son it hit home.  Your situation is very similar to what we are going through with my 16 yr old son except his dad lives with us and there is no abuse.  My son is not willing to confide in his dad and at times would  rather avoid him.  On the other hand they enjoy football, golf etc together. Anyways my son has suffered from severe depression since the age of 4.  He was not diagnosed until 2 years ago when  he could not even attend school.  It was so bad I  began to home school for 2 1/2 years. He did decide to go back for freshman year------it was hard--did not speak to anyone or socialize. Soph year  his psy  put  him on meds--differnt kinds and combinations.  Meds seemed to work for a shory while and the side affects were not good.  After one year on meds my son refused to take them anymore.  Withdrawal was not pleasant!  As of May of this year he is med free and  actually is doing better even though the depression is still significant.  I am now looking into neurofeedback and if I can  convice my son, we will try it.  It appears to be promising and you may want to check it out.  I'll let you know if we go for it and how it works.  How old is your son and how is he doing now.  What treatment is he receiving and have you seen results?  Best  wishes to you and hang in there!


Regular Member

Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 28
   Posted 10/15/2005 10:37 AM (GMT -7)   
Has your son had a physical exam as well as psychiatric visits? Could it be be something physical like a glandular problem or brain tumor? Schizophrenia strikes teens and young adults. Sounds serious and the situation is aggravated by his father.

I wish you good luck in coping with this difficult situation.

Regular Member

Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 398
   Posted 10/15/2005 11:12 AM (GMT -7)   
Sadly I have no advice. All I have to offer is support and encouragement. I hope you find the answers that you need.
Stay strong.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jun 2004
Total Posts : 798
   Posted 10/15/2005 3:29 PM (GMT -7)   

Hi and welcome fair skies  :-)  .  Not sure if you still post or read here but I just read your post.  I find it truly heartbreaking.  Here's my personal opinion on the situation. 

Boys deeply crave their fathers and your son has been rejected therefore he is acting out.  This along with hormones makes for tough teen years.  I think this is partly why he sabatoges friendships, fear of being rejected so he rejects first. 

As to whether or not someone can put a spell on somebody; well, I just believe words have the power of life or death.  A parent can definetely have a huge impact or how a child feels about him/herself.  If you constantly boost your child and encourage them, they will do better and of course the opposite is also true. 

I hope and pray that this situation changes for you fair skies.  Sounds like you're an awesome mom looking out for your sons best interest.  I pray the courts see the same.


Take care, Softy

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