Despair

fair skies

Regular Member

Joined : Apr 2005

Posts : 39

Posted 7/12/2005 2:23 PM (GMT -7)

Despair is the word that best describes how I feel as a mother. I see no end to a very despairing, sad situation. I want to run away and never come back. My son's emotional, and now behavioural problems are dooming us both. I honestly don't know how much longer I can handle this. Noone really knows how deeply despaired I am.

CheerDad

Veteran Member

Joined : Apr 2004

Posts : 2284

Posted 7/12/2005 3:23 PM (GMT -7)

Follow-up to your other post. I feel it is often a very difficult task to raise children even when they are not "acting out", especially if you are a single parent and don't have anyone to help when you are in despair. It is at times like these I kneel down and ask my Higher Power to help me find the strength and courage to continue on. Good luck and hope you find the strength and peace necessary to guide your son through this difficult time.

We can respond to irritation with a smile instead of scowl, or by giving warm praise instead of icy indifference. By our being understanding instead of abrupt, others, in turn, may decide to hold on a little longer rather than to give way. Love, patience, and meekness can be just as contagious as rudeness and crudeness.

Randy

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fair skies

Regular Member

Joined : Apr 2005

Posts : 39

Posted 7/12/2005 3:36 PM (GMT -7)

Thanks for the encouragement, Randy. I'm a Christian, but my faith is waining and I'm sure it's my own fault.

AlwaysRosie

Veteran Member

Joined : Jan 2005

Posts : 8616

Posted 7/13/2005 8:15 PM (GMT -7)

Hugs and prayers for you Fair Skies! I could just cry reading your posts.

Does your church have a youth group? Does your son participate in any strenuous activities. It seems to get rid of some of the junk in our minds and bodies when we are active. . . just a thought. If you have a trusted Pastor or other leader at your church, maybe they could spend some time with him and get a new perspective on things.

Keep us posted.

Blessings!

In His Grip,

AlwaysRosie "We can't control the waves, but we can learn to surf!"

Psalms 139

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Having2LeftFeet

Regular Member

Joined : Feb 2005

Posts : 472

Posted 7/13/2005 9:56 PM (GMT -7)

I am so sorry to hear about your troubles with your son. I have a grandson who is 8 and has ADD, ADHD, Autism, Developmentally delayed and bi-polar. (so these crackpot Dr's say.) When I was a kid growing up, baby boomer, if we behaved badly, we were called brats and got sent to bed without supper or took a tail whipping from daddy's belt or were grounded, depending on the seriousness of the issue. All of a sudden, a generation comes along where they say these kids are "very disturbed". WHY???? What happened between 1950 to 1985? That's when all this started. Personally, I have wittnessed a parent screaming at their kids in the store and saying terrible things to them. Personally, I think it's a breakdown in the home and lack of supervision. I will probably get jumpped for this, but even though it can't be helped, when children don't live with and grow up with both their mom and dad, that's when the trouble begins. I can speak from first hand. Each child deserves a fighting chance to have a normal, productive life and if the parents don't see that, they are only fooling themselves. Case in point. Parents have a few kids. The split. They go with daddy every other weekend. Now the mom is free 2 weekends a month and so is dad. What do you think they want to do on those weekend nights? They are searching for love in all the wrong laces. This is a time for throw away mom's and throw away dad's and the kids suffer. Mine did but they had very strict discipline. They were 9 and 11 when I got a divorce and married a year later. They didn't like that, however, we carried on same as usual. Their father loved to touture me using them. He would call and say he was coming to get them and never show up or when I would call him for my child support (wow, $60 a week for 2 kids), he told me if I wanted it, come and get it. I then told my attorney to put it to the courts.

The point I am trying to make is without any information about you or your son, his age, what the main issue is, we can't even advise you. We can support you and pray for you. Sounds to me like yu really need some help and fast. Don't let this go on much longer. It's not good for the both of you. God bless!

"Lefty"

There is no such word as can't. Can't simply means wouln't. Grab as much as life as you can. Future is a long way away for those who don't believe. Don't build a foundation of life on sand. It will take it away with the tide. Love a little more, be unkind a lot less.

fair skies

Regular Member

Joined : Apr 2005

Posts : 39

Posted 7/21/2005 11:36 AM (GMT -7)

Thank you to everyone for the encouragement.

As far as more information, I will give more as I have time. It has been a very long road. Suffice it to say that my son's father is a control freak who has played mind games with his son and who says hurtful things when he feels he is out of control of his son's mind. He will never know the pain he has caused.

I myself have been contemplating anti-depressents myself as being a single mom and going through what I have for the past year has taken its toll on me mentally and physically. I can't ever remember a time when I felt more hopeless.

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