Hi, I'm new here.
A bit about my background; I am Chinese-American, 18, male. I've been moderately depressed since maybe eighth or ninth grade, but it seems that over the past year it's gotten a lot worse.
Now I'm at a summer camp thing at the college that I will be attending in the fall(CU-Boulder), and I've never felt so alone. I feel like I'm not able to make any connections with my peers, and they all get along with each other so well. It hurts so much. We're also doing a paid internship thing here, but I hate the task I've been assigned, and it's making things even worse.
I'm really scared since I'm up here for a month and there are activities even on the weekends which my parents refuse to grant me a break from. My parents being Chinese have the whole "boys don't cry" stigma going... my dad thinks I'm weak and self-centered and my mom thinks that it's all in my mind and that I don't try hard enough, and it's just awful.
Professional help and pills are out of the question since my parents won't condone it, and I have no money to pay for the help or the medicines on my own.
I could really, really use someone to talk to and just listen. This will make me sound like a jerk but I really don't want advice right now because I think it will make me feel even worse. Maybe if someone would want to talk to me that would be great. Since I'm expected to be at activities my time is limited but any support you can provide would be greatly appreciated.
Please talk to me, either on here, or by e-mail; it's my screen name on here @msn.com. I also have this screen name on msn and aol messenger. Please... only talk if you have the patience and the time and the kindness to deal with me. I'm probably going to be high maintainence and I don't want to overburden anyone.
I'm sorry this sounded so whiny. But I could really really really use someone to talk to right now. Many thanks in advance for any help you can provide.