I really do not know how much more I can take

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Regular Member

Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 151
   Posted 7/15/2005 12:11 AM (GMT -6)   
I feel as though everything is crashing down on me.  I go to work each day not knowing if it will be my last.  I caught an error I made today but technically it really isnt an error.  I am going to talk to my supervisor about it tomorrow because she will find out one way or another.  I feel it would be best if I brought the error up plus then I wont have to worry about when they are going to find out.  Basically, we have closed our claims department and most of our files are in another office.  I got some mail today.  I checked our shelves and the closed and shipped list and it was on neither.  Well, I finally found it on a list of claims sent to the other office so I put it in the mail.  At the end of the day I was putting files away in the managers office and found she had the file.  I know my supervisor could get mad and let me go.  I applied for a job that I felt I had a good chance of getting til yesterday.  I went for a 2nd interview and although I think I did ok, I think they will pick someone with more experience.  I have not done the job I applied for in 4 years.
about a month ago my t, who I have going to for 5 years told me she was retireing.  She said it would be Dec. but could be earlier if they sold their house.  She said she would give me plenty of notice and that I could bring in a list of providers on my plan and help me pick one.  Well today I went to t and she basically told me she did not want to treat me anymore and to bring in a list of providers on my plan.  Right now I am kind of in a hard place.  I am looking for another job.  I had planned on staying with this one til the end unless I found another job first.  I dont want the worry of starting with someone new and getting comfortable and then find a job and then the t I have just started seeing isnt on my insurance plan.  I am thinking that if she does not want to see me anymore of just quitting therapy.  Right now, I dont even know that I want to go back to the one I am seeing now.  A couple of my best friends have said I should go in next week with my list but explain I am not ready right now due to my situation.  I suffer with ADHD, depression, and anxiety.  My job situation mostly has to do with me having ADHD and she does not specialize in ADHD.  She can help me with the depression and anxiety.  I was thinking of explaining my situation to her and see if she would be willing to spend the rest of the time working on my depression and anxiety.  But then I am afraid to ask her for fear of rejection.
Anyone got any ideas?  At this point I am thinking about dropping t all together.  I have even considered stopping my meds...well tapering off them.  Maybe all of these are messing me up.

Regular Member

Date Joined Mar 2005
Total Posts : 344
   Posted 7/15/2005 2:50 AM (GMT -6)   
Dear Chelsi, I do not know what meds you are on but I would not recommend stopping them during this stressful cycle.

I am appauled that a therapist could be so selfish. I think she is required to give you a certain amount of time to find a new therapist and to help you find one and make the judgement. You could check with the American Medical Association about this.
Please do not give up. Just be honest with your employer. Let them know that you have not been feeling well lately and you are seeing a doctor for this problem. You can own up to making a mistake and apologize and promise that you will do your best to ensure that this does not happen again. You can even tell your employer that you had full intention of discussing this error with your supervisor, however because you were not feeling well you had not discussed it with them yet. It is hard to advice you on this because I do not know the personality of your boss. If you have discussed work with your therapist ask her if she might see you for one emergency session to help you work out ideas on the best way to approach this.

Try to think positive thoughts. Positive thoughts can turn into positive actions.

Try not to read more into the fact that your employer was reading the file in question. Maybe her reading it had nothing to do with you.

You did the best you could for that day. That is all you can do.
Sometimes we get ourselves in real trouble by trying to guess what is going to happen next. Say a prayer if you can and try and not worry about something that has not happened yet.

If you do lose this job, maybe the next one will be better.

Try to smile a lot at work, put on a happy face, and you will never believe how far little things will go. Bring some goodies in for the staff room. Or pick your boss up a speciality cup of coffee. Write a note to your boss, a warm fuzzy, indicating how much you enjoy the job, and how it has been a real learning experiende for you, and you feel yourself growing both as a person and in your skill level. Thank her for any time she has offered you support.

Please do not take my suggestions as being the best solutions. Like I said it is so hard to say how things will go because I have no background on your boss. Maybe your boss is going through her own personal crisis.

Perhaps your new therapist will be even better.

If for some reason you do not have coverage for a therapist, I can guarantee you that there are therapists around, that work on either a sliding scale depending on your income, or that there are other therapists that will work for free. I know I found a free therapist for someone else who had posted on this site.

Do you remember how stressed out you were a few months back by your girl friend? How did that situation work out?

Try and take every new situation as a learning opportunity.

Hang in there.
I will pray for you.

Post Edited (effie) : 7/15/2005 7:05:54 AM (GMT-6)

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 8616
   Posted 7/15/2005 4:21 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Chelsi,

Effie gave you some good advice. I just want to underscore . . . do not stop taking your meds without getting your doctor's or therapists help. Your therapist sounds like she is doing you a favor by giving you a referral . . . sounds like she may not be clicking with you. You need a therapist who WANTS to help you.

Hang in there friend!!

In His Grip,
AlwaysRosie          "We can't control the waves, but we can learn to surf!"
Psalms 139
UCTD (Undifferentiated Connective Tissue Disease), Hashimoto's, Plantar Fasciitis, Inflamatory Arthritis, High BP, GI Inflamation, Diverticuloses
Plaquenil, Methotrexate, Metanx, Synthroid, RX Motrin, Lexapro, Amitriptelyne, Salagen, Lotrel

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