worse and worse...

I have to agree with everyone. Get help soon. I currently seeking help and its still fairly knew. I still feel frustrated with everything life, god, myself wondering why me. Why is this all feeling like such a snowball affect and when will it end. I'm hoping with counseling I will get better but I still have douts. Its not easy no one ever said it was going to be easy but I'm going to go through with it. I owe it to myself to get better. I'm tired of running in fact I'm just plum exhausted from running these days. Do get some help karlo its not the easiest thing in the world to admit their is something to be addressed but no one , none of us deserve to feel like we do most of the time. that's what I tell myself even though I don't always believe it. I have to keep thinking I deserve better than what I've been going through for so long. I can't remember the last time I truly felt good, I felt great about everything. The doctor asked me that yesterday and I sat and sat and sat and said you mean really and truly great and he was like yea and I said honestly I can't remember the last time I felt that way. I want to change that. I want to be more like my granddad who enjoyed life and was one of those people that lived life to the fullest and didn't miss out on anything I want to be that way.