To lazer9 ..........
I too was married for 23-years ... and it disappeared likely due to each of us changing over the years + non-communication!!!!!!!!
From your story, while everyone needs mourning time after a long relationship, you didn't seem to take it. I undertand loneliness all too well. But ... we need the time to sit back, think about what went wrong, how much of it was my fault, and what am I going to do to keep this from happening again. And this is all related JUST to your failed marriage.
I have a friend, who has over the past 15-years bounced from one relationship to another. Sometimes it's head-spinning! But her viewpoint is "I need a man to be happy"! Well, of course, she's headed for disaster with each and every relationship she gets into.
You must work on yourself first ...... period! That goes for us all!
Everyone in my mostly former group of friends, after their divorce, went to a support group of some kind. Most of them also went to a therapist, counceler or psychologist - whichever is the least threatening title. And I don't mean for a few weeks!!!! Most went weekly for many months and some longer.
I went to a psychologist who worked on a sliding scale - affordable and went there for close to a year - about 25-sessions! She talked me into finding a support group, which I did .... 15-years ago. I still have a few friends left from that support group.
I have had two relationships during those 20+ years since the divorce. One was serious and intense - but just lasted 10-months or so. Several years later, I got into the other one (call it mostly comfortable for both of us) that went on for 7-years but with a couple of stops in between.
But ........ I must have dated 20 others before and in between ..... one or two dates each - some from the internet, some from the newspaper and a couple thru friends. I did not jump into any of them. Why ..... cause they weren't right. How's that ...... I spent a lot of time after the divorce (3+ years) finding myself. It really helps!
Think about it. If you think you're a failure .... what do you think a date is going to think?
Keep working at it.
Rob and Giz