I've probubly not been happy with the way I look for at least the past two or three years. I'm a 21 year old young woman, so I obviously especially want to feel good about
myself and have people think i'm pretty, but a lot of people have been very mean to me over the past few years because of how I look. My appearance should probubly be the very least of my concerns right now (I technically have way more important things to worry about
) but at the same time it still bothers me a lot. I've been called ugly to my face at times over the past few years even. I mean, being honest, i'm not exactly what somebody would consider highly attractive, because I don't fit in with most people's idea of what beauty is, and I probubly never will. I'm average weight, shoulder length hair, and don't wear make up or dress up often. My depression (or whatever condition I actually have, I have no idea) has affected my appearance a lot. There was a time
where I was obsessed with the way that I looked and did everything to try to build my self-esteem through my appearance, and it worked for a while, until I became too depressed to care and didn't have the resources to take care of my appearance. Before I became really depressed, I would get called pretty, but I don't anymore. It makes me upset because people don't understand or care how sick i've felt at times- how tired and unhealthy i've felt. Going through this has made me realize that there are so many things in life that are far more important than appearance, but at the same time it's hard to get up everyday with low self-esteem and try to live a normal life. There have been times where I have not even left my house just because I have felt so bad about myself, and i'm sure the way I look has something to do with why I often don't get taken seriously either, even when I try to talk about my problems with a mental health professional, for example, I get spoken to like i'm dumb or uneducated, when I feel like I know a lot more about what is actually important in life than most people my age do. I should know better than to care about what other people think, but it's difficult to ignore when you've heard the same things over and over for such a long time, especially since I don't have anyone in my life who is really supportive either. When it comes to my appearance, even my family has not been very nice, telling me I need to grow my hair out longer or loose weight (I've tried both, but I have a difficult time loosing weight and my hair won't grow very much).
Anyways, i'd just appreciate any advice on what I can do about my issue with appearance. I'm just tired of always feeling bad about myself.