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Heartless people who's too stupid to realize

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ProblemsAreOpportunities
Veteran Member
Joined : May 2013
Posts : 647
Posted 11/4/2013 12:51 AM (GMT -7)
I can't believe that this is happening. It's just... I never wish to see him this way.

My grandfather had been in a coma for about a week now and he is currently in level 4. Chances for him to survive is 40-60/100 but even though his survival chances are quite good (even doctors say so considering his condition), the doctors said that half of his body wouldn't function. Not only that but he may also not remember any of my family members but even so, the chances for him to survive are quite good.. well at least it's better then the average people I think.. at least that's what the doctors said.

Anyway, you see, my grandfather isn't exactly my from blood kind of grandfather. He is actually my step granddad but I love him just like he's my own. The stupid part is that the true son and daughter of my grandfather doesn't want to save him. They said it's better for him to just go without having to suffer but my family's side of course argued. (My grandmother isn't exactly married to my granddad but we see each other as a family even without marriage). The true blood by blood children from my granddad are well, really cheap. They are also two-faced. They never took good care of my granddad before my grandmother met him and ever since she did, my family and I took good care of him. My granddad often said that he was disappointed of his own children and that he felt really blessed that my family took really good care of him. Now that he's in a coma, my family tried really hard on bringing him back, calling the best doctor from singapore to come, rented a private jet for transportation to singapore and all that but even after everything's ready, that DARN so called 'children' of my granddad wouldn't agree.

I hate them so much! There's a good amount of percentage for him to survive but they WOULDN'T AGREE!!! My family already argued about it for 4 days straight but they still wouldn't agree. They said that they have the right to choose whatever path they go for their father because they're the true children of him but my family and I couldn't agree with that! I want my granddad back, there's this special spot in my heart for him even if he's not by blood, he's still my granddad that I would never forget. He's the best granddad that I ever had and I want him to survive and so did my family.

After three days in the hospital, the true children from my granddad couldn't even pay for the hospital bills (for they are quite poor and very very very cheap) but my family can, but they still wouldn't agree to just hand everything over to my family! We can afford it and We can save him with the help of God but THEY the DEVIL WOULDN'T LET US!!

They never cared about their father, my family cared much more then them and even the doctor from Singapore's amazed at how my family feels towards my granddad, on how we have hope and that we care more. I want to save him, miracles happen and so I want my family to make a move but we have no rights cause we aren't by blood!! IT'S ONLY BY BLOOD!!

Right now, my family gave up because we don't want my grandfather to know that we fought with his children. We care a lot about him but we just have no right to take over him. I hate the devil, they're the devil and I would never forget. My family banned them from staying in my grandma's house, banned them to meet us face to face because they just simply have NO heart. Now, all the bills are up to them. My family already paid for everything for the first four days but now, it's all up to them. I couldn't believe that people could be THAT heartless to THEIR OWN father. It's just so painful to see my granddad lying on the hospital bed, having to just wait for the end to come. Now all my family can do is just pray to God. I truly believe in God and I really do hope that he would respond to my prayers.

On the fourth day, when my family was breaking up the line between both sides, saying that we'd never meet each other again, my grandmother held my grandfather's hand and said "I guess this is it, your children just don't match with mine. I'm letting you go, take care. I will visit you soon." and with that, my grandfather's heart monitor started going crazy. The vital signs started spiking and everything went wild and my family and I believe that as a sign that my grandfather wants to go with my family's decision. He doesn't want to go yet and he believes in us, not them but his kids are just too stubborn care so we let go. Now, all we can do is just pray for a miracle to happen. My granddad's still in a coma and is not getting better for there is no special medical care for him because of those devil who won't allow us to do anything. I am at lost now and everything in my grandma's house reminds me of him. He means a lot to my family.

I am at lost right now... all I want to say is that I couldn't believe this is happening. It's just... he's been really healthy all these years and now he's here, helplessly lying on the hospital bed. I would give anything to save him, really! sighhhhh....

Thanks for reading and prayers are more then welcome.

Joanne
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Angelic_Victory
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Joined : Sep 2012
Posts : 2138
Posted 11/4/2013 12:11 PM (GMT -7)
Yup, I agree. You have to think about quality of life. Would he want to live with all the ramifications of this situation. It's a hard choice and I'm sorry you're in this spot.

When my grandmother passed she had been sick for a year and then just went into a coma suddenly. My family fought with each other. This is a time to put aside differences. Suggest to your parents to have a neutral sit down to discuss what is happening with all affected parties. You don't know how his children feel.

When you don't have a lot of money it does become a factor.y dad has cancer and has told me that he would want me to let him go as soon as I could. He doesn't want me to bear the financial burden. This isn't a decision based on how much I love him. It's about what he wants his legacy to his children to be.

It's ok to be mad. It's natural to find a target and vent. I'm just cautioning about judging without knowing their thoughts. They could have good reasons behind their decisions. There's so much more to a medical situation than just living or dying. An elderly person has a much tougher road to recovery. Any number of his systems could be impacted. Their bodies get stressed so easily.

Right now just try to take care of you. Ultimately, no one gets to make the decision about his life. You could do everything or nothing and you could end up with any outcome. Put it in God's hands and pray for the ability to accept his decision. Pray for patience.
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ProblemsAreOpportunities
Veteran Member
Joined : May 2013
Posts : 647
Posted 11/5/2013 1:43 AM (GMT -7)
Thanks Carl and Angelic_Victory,
First of all, I am awfully sorry for your lost Carl. I would too feel awful if that happened to my pup.

I appreciate your advice a lot and maybe you guys are right, maybe this is his last problem for my family, to cope with it and to learn that this is just the fact that it is. It's just hard to actually face it, already losing a family member is hard enough and now I'm about to lose another one. But I guess God is fair, when I'm about to lose one, I'm gonna get another one and that is a new nephew.

I guess now everything's up to them on whatever they want to do with him. All these years, everytime I would see my grandma, there would always be my grandpa by her side. He would be the one who would push the wheelchair, the one who would help her go potty when she needs to in the middle of the night, the one who would be there for her every time she needs him. I guess it's just us who's too scared to lose him.

Thank you for both your advice and your huge hug Carl. Biggest bear hug to you too my friend. You're also always on my mind no matter what for you helped me a lot throughout the year, thanks a bunch (:

Joanne
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alsky
Regular Member
Joined : Oct 2013
Posts : 42
Posted 11/5/2013 1:57 PM (GMT -7)
omg.....Carl.......what a story ! thanks for sharing !!!!!!!!!!!!
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alsky
Regular Member
Joined : Oct 2013
Posts : 42
Posted 11/5/2013 1:59 PM (GMT -7)
Joanne,

At this difficult time, I wish you strength !!
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WatchmansMoon
New Member
Joined : Nov 2013
Posts : 12
Posted 11/5/2013 4:53 PM (GMT -7)

You and your grandfather are in my prayers, Joanne. I can't disagree more with the others who are saying to let him go, however. Human life is sacred at any stage. If doctors have said he has even a small chance of recovering (and with your grandfather they've given him a much greater chance) then you should do all you can to prevent care and treatment from being withdrawn. Even with partial paralysis, one's quality of life can be quite high. Who are others to decide what that will be, and even his doctors are optimistic! We're not talking about a cat here, we're talking about a human being, made in the image of God Himself. Only God can determine when his life is to end, and until then, don't you think you should provide any and everything you can to help him recover? Maybe that means taking legal action against his family to allow you to provide medical care to him (if that's possible.) It sounds as though you're in Singapore, and I don't know what the law says about issues of life like this, but can you do any and everything in your power to fight for your grandfather's life? In the end, you will have peace in knowing you did what was right on his behalf, in spite of what the outcome is. If you're interested, here's an article about making end of life decisions for a loved one that may be helpful to you: http://bit.ly/1cCYCwi Again, I am praying for you and your family, and especially your grandfather. Hugs and blessings to you!

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Angelic_Victory
Veteran Member
Joined : Sep 2012
Posts : 2138
Posted 11/5/2013 9:11 PM (GMT -7)
Just thought I'd check in with you, Joanne. I have thought about you a lot the last few days. It's a hard situation but your strength in God will help you through.

When I was a child my mom worked in a group home for mentally disabled adults. Most of the residents had very involved family but there was one, Katie, who didn't. She was an older lady who had Down syndrome. She used to love to hold me on her lap and sing to me. She came to our house on holidays. I loved Katie. Such a beautifully innocent spirit. She got really sick (I don't remember exactly but I believe her heart was giving out). Her family decided to not do anything despite there being options. At that time I was mad and couldn't believe what they did. Later, as I've worked in nursing homes and watched my beloved grandfather and grandmother suffer I understood. Katie would have had no quality of life. She would have been left in the hospital for the rest of her life. She couldn't have participated in her favorite activities or visited her favorite people. She'd be stuck on machines and, most likely, never would have come off the ventilator. That was no life for her. I'm glad that Katie got to pass in a peaceful way that didn't prolong her suffering.

Anyway, my point is that you have to understand that while things may not make sense now they may in the future. Your grandfather wouldn't want you to be mad or feel guilty. He sounds like the kind of man who would your energies consumed in a more positive manner. Pray, help your grandmother, read to him. My grandfather lost his ability to speak and I sat beside his bed and we prayed over my grandmother's rosary nonstop. He liked that, I could tell from how he seemed more at peace. Your grandfather may appreciate the same (not rosary if he's not catholic but prayers or reading from the bible). What is meant to be will be.
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ProblemsAreOpportunities
Veteran Member
Joined : May 2013
Posts : 647
Posted 11/6/2013 11:29 AM (GMT -7)
Thank you everybody for all your lovely comments, opinions, prayers and for being there when I need a shoulder to cry on. To my own surprise, I feel extra jolly today and I just got the news from my mother for like... 20 minutes ago.

When I was at school, I was surprisingly jolly like good and hilarious things kept on coming non-stop and I feel really blessed for that. Not only that but my mom got the news that my granddad is actually improving his percentage on waking up and making a full recovery! The percentage may not be much but an improvement is always good right ?

God finally answered my family and I's prayers and I truly felt really blessed! His improvement had been progressing ever since yesterday and it had been two straight days! Amazing isn't it ?!

I would continue to pray to God that it is his choice to make the decision and He knows what's best for my family (:

Thank you Carl for the encouraging words of wisdom and also your opinion. You got a point there, a strong one too therefore I would hold on to it. Thanks alsky and WatchmansMoon (Oh, and welcome! please do read the policies if you don't mind) for your opinion, I appreciate it. Thanks Angelic_Victory for your wonderful story and I also appreciate your advice too :-) Well I'm Bethel Christian but my granddad is Catholic so yepp.

Anyways, thanks for all your prayers and I really do appreciate all of your encouraging words and your wonderful life stories, I really do! No joke but you guys always have my back when I need you, this forum is like my escape from the real world somehow and I love it! Just like what my friend said, 'people in the internet don't judge you by your appearance, they judge on your politeness and mannerism so therefore I shall love it with all my heart.'

I wish you all a wonderful day just like mine!!

Joanne

P.S.- Cyber hugs to you too Carl!! You seriously always have a way to warm my heart no matter what. :-D

P.S.S- I hope your granddad would feel better Angelic_Victory! Prayers and wishes to you.

P.S.S.S- I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH! I SERIOUSLY DO!!!
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BnotAfraid
Forum Moderator
Joined : Apr 2012
Posts : 8520
Posted 11/7/2013 10:30 AM (GMT -7)
Joanne,

so glad to hear the good news about your Grandfather.

I do apologize for not joining the thread sooner, however I see you have plenty of support.

WatchmansMoon, welcome to the forum, check out our resources at the top of this thread. Also, review the rules and regulations, specificaly #6.

Peace to all.
Trina
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ProblemsAreOpportunities
Veteran Member
Joined : May 2013
Posts : 647
Posted 11/9/2013 9:55 AM (GMT -7)
Hi Bnotafraid,
well it's okay. I was happy to hear the news to but I got some bad news this morning, My grandfather passed away this morning at 7 something. Everyone misses him dearly but I guess it's just his time to go. He's in a better place now.
Thanks for all your prayers and support, I really appreciate it.

Joanne
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Angelic_Victory
Veteran Member
Joined : Sep 2012
Posts : 2138
Posted 11/9/2013 10:41 AM (GMT -7)
My prayers are with you and your family. I know its hard but try to not let negativity mar those precious memories of your grandfather. Now is the time to remember all the wonderful times. He wouldn't want you to be angry. Before my grandfather passed, he told me that he'd kick my booty if I was sad because he was happy to be going home.

Sadness is natural and never feel guilty for mourning. It's important! Big hugs and prayers for peace.
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ProblemsAreOpportunities
Veteran Member
Joined : May 2013
Posts : 647
Posted 11/9/2013 10:02 PM (GMT -7)
Thanks AU and Carl, I would also keep you both in mind too.
I'm actually kind of pleased that he already went, that way, he wouldn't suffer anymore. He's in a better place and i know it by heart.

Peace to everyone,
Joanne
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ProblemsAreOpportunities
Veteran Member
Joined : May 2013
Posts : 647
Posted 11/9/2013 10:58 PM (GMT -7)
(((((((Carl)))))))
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