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New Member

Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 7/25/2005 9:29 PM (GMT -6)   
i'm 18 and i've had depression/suicidal thoughts since about 11 or 12. for a brief time i was on medication and i have gone to several different therapists, but my dad was the one paying for it and he just thought it was a waste of money. i don't think he would pay for it now that i'm 18 anyway. things got a lot better for a while, but lately everything has been downhill. i've realized so many things about myself and don't think a person like me should be allowed a life. i just want someone to talk to, someone who will help figure out what's wrong with me, someone i can tell all my dark secrets to and who won't hate me. i just want someone who can act as a friend. my email is

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 8616
   Posted 7/25/2005 10:28 PM (GMT -6)   
Hello friend!!

That is your depression talking. Our depression can really tell us lies. Don't listen. Please call your county agency for mental health. They will help you find assistance. You need to talk to someone NOW. The farther down this depression spiral you go, the harder it is to reach out. Your dad just doesn't understand how serious this can be.

Please try to get help immediately . . . I bet the emergency room would even have an idea of where you could go in your community for help. They deal with this all the time.

Get some help and then post a let us know how your are doing.

Hugs, prayers and blessings!
In His Grip,
AlwaysRosie          "We can't control the waves, but we can learn to surf!"
Psalms 139
UCTD (Undifferentiated Connective Tissue Disease), Hashimoto's, Plantar Fasciitis, Inflamatory Arthritis, High BP, GI Inflamation, Diverticuloses
Plaquenil, Methotrexate, Metanx, Synthroid, RX Motrin, Lexapro, Amitriptelyne, Salagen, Lotrel

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2004
Total Posts : 4151
   Posted 7/26/2005 7:40 AM (GMT -6)   
I agree with Rosie... there are many ways to get assistance for couseling and therapy. But you really need to seek help. Don't let this thing beat you. We have all been or are there but we are all getting through it with help. Even just posting here is a big help to many of us as I'm sure you felt a lot better to let it out with your post. In the mean time of finding help, please keep posting here so we can offer our support and friendship to you.
Take Care
Des (dbab)
IBS, Diverticulosis, GERD, Disc Degeneration
"If you don't like something change it; if you can't change it, change the way you think about it" - Mary Engelbreit

Regular Member

Date Joined Feb 2005
Total Posts : 472
   Posted 7/26/2005 11:40 AM (GMT -6)   
HI, (and you're not nothing),
I have lived what you are living and it took a very long time for me to realize at the tender age of 18, that it was easier for me to rebel than to work things out. I had some things happen to me when I was younger and the scars will never heal, however, the Lord helps me deal with them. We all have so much we are dealing with now. Everyone has a different issue but basically in the same catagory. Depression is a read illness and can turn our lives upside down. I am so much better as giving advice than taking so I will do what I do best.
My shrink asked me what my goals in life were. I didn't know how to answer him. I didn't want to say things that I know would be impossible for me to key on, yet I thought my head can tell my heart what to do and what was the right thing.
You need to sit on the floor with your legs folded in, very quiet setting and ask yourself first above anything else "what are you're most serious issues"? Write them down. Once you have put all of them on paper, ask yourself what you know you CAN do relating to those issues and if you think you can tackle them  one at a time. Then write down your goals. Put down the things you would like to acheive in life. Put down realistically what you know you can acheive. Read my post from today (26). It will tell you how I feel about my life, but I am 55 with a lot of health issues. People think it is so easy to say, "What are you bit***ng about"? There are people worse off than you. YES, there are, but at the present you are working on your own life. If you don't have your life in order, how can you empathize with others. You have to be a caring, sharing person meaning you have to listen as much as you have to share. We will listen. We can ease some of your pain. We can understand and encourage you. You are not at the end of the road. You have a long time for that. As for dying, I think we have all had those feelings at least once in our lives but we dismiss that negative thought, meaning we try not to entertain the idea of "doing ourselves in". You took the first step. You came here and shared. BUT, you have to read the posts as well. I did when I fist came even before I shared and there was a lot to share. From those posts I knew I came to the right place for comfort and support. YOu are welcomed here. We are here. We care. E ,ail me anytime you feel to. God bless!
"Lefty" :-)
There is no such word as can't. Can't simply means wouln't. Grab as much as life as you can. Future is a long way away for those who don't believe. Don't build a foundation of life on sand. It will take it away with the tide. Love a little more, be unkind a lot less.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Apr 2004
Total Posts : 2284
   Posted 7/26/2005 2:13 PM (GMT -6)   
Adding my welcome and suggestion to find some professional help. We can give support, but with some to the dark feelings you are having from your depression, only a professional can help you get through it. Follow Rosie's counsel and give your state agencies a call and see if they will help you.
We can respond to irritation with a smile instead of scowl, or by giving warm praise instead of icy indifference. By our being understanding instead of abrupt, others, in turn, may decide to hold on a little longer rather than to give way. Love, patience, and meekness can be just as contagious as rudeness and crudeness.
Please allow HealingWell to continue helping others by donating:

Regular Member

Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 29
   Posted 7/27/2005 7:38 AM (GMT -6)   
I can relate in that I'm 22 and had much the same feelings at age 18 if not a similar situation. The advice given above is the best, but here's some extra. Expressing yourself can help alot. I like to paint and write when I feel down to get it out. It doesn't matter if don't do those things regularly, just getting those feelings out of your head and onto paper can help some. Also listening to to positive music helps. I like 311 to cheer up personally, but there is positive music of all genres. Hearing and feeling a good vibe can be wonderful for uplifting spirits. My email is if you need someone to talk to.
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