I have a number of allergies that I find interfere with my life. I'm constantly reading labels for food it's turning into an obsession about
avoiding contaminated products for fear they will put me in hospital. I feel stupid, but it just gets into my head that I'm allergic to all this stuff, I don't know what's harming me and what's not. There are days on end where I just don't eat. I've dropped a few dress sizes but this is partially by cutting out a product from my diet that was bloating me.
I have a skin condition that drives me to tears, I don't want people seeing me. I call in sick to work because I don't want to have to deal with the stares from customers. I get it in my eye, on my hands... I can't hide everywhere with clothes.
Ugh. Anyway, I was on Luvox about 3 years ago and my doctor took me off it, that was when I was having major family/relationship dramas. I moved cities and now am I guess accepting that this is turning into a big problem.
On top of trying to treat my health, I'm finding that I'm starting to slip. I don't really know how to describe it. My moods are a rollercoaster and starting to affect my relationship. He's great at helping me with my problems, but he doesn't understand.
I don't know if a doctor could help me with this, I don't like myself on anti-depressants. I'm not really sure what to do. At what point does awareness to harmful products become an obsession? I'm so lost... I'm a 21 year old female trying to fit into society and I feel like everyone's looking at me, judging me.
Anyway, I don't know. Is this really even a problem or am I just being stupid and selfish?
I just get so down when I think about how I will never do this and never do that, I try to say it could be worse, I could have no hands... but really. I don't think I can live every day of my life like this! I don't want to have kids because I don't want them to have to go what I go through. I hate having to explain to people why I can't go to dinner with them. I hate the looks, and I hate myself because I'm like this.
Post Edited (Miss~Sin) : 7/26/2005 2:18:17 AM (GMT-6)