Welcome to our group. I have thought about how I would respond to your post and I will do it subject by subject.
On the subject of working at home as opposed to working outside the home, it brings one thing to mind. My sleep therapist told me NEVER to watch TV in bed because the bed is for sleeping and if you watch TV or whatever in bed, it will feel like no change when you try to go to sleep. It's kinda like a cow producing OJ. That could be one issue, and I understand your reasoning as for the depression and High School kids would drive me nuts too. I owned and operated a day care center for 11 years with 115 kids and I thought I was losing my mind. I sold it and went into a different line of work, also self employed.
Second, on the subject of SSD. I am going to shoot straight from the hip and I will not "tap dance". I have Lupus, a debilitating disease with no cure. I also have Fibromyalgia, AKA chronic fatigue syndrome. I also have epilepsy, however, I didn't get that until after SSD. I fought tooth and nail to get SSD. The first time I was turned down, I struck back. The second time, I struck back again. The third time was when they sent me to their Doctor. Well, it doesn't take a brain surgeon to figure out that he is fighting for the gov., not the patient. After that, I sat and wrote letters to my Mayor, Governor, Councilmen and women, Senators, both Rep. and Dem, and I got responses from all. Some favorable, some not. I explained how many hours my husband had to work to support us. We owned a business, worked for ourselves and I wasn't working because I was in bad shape. I went to every doctor for reports, forms to fill out on my behalf and all my past medical history. When it came down to it, I asked for a hearing, BUT, did not hire an Attorney. Why should I pay an Attorney 30% of my benefits if I won the case and as I pray to the good Lord, I knew He would decide what was best for me. All the papers were filled out and sent to the Judge that would hear my case. I appeared before the Judge without a lawyer and he questioned if I wanted to postpone to get one and I told him no. I told him he had all my medical history and diagnosis and I had the Lord on my shoulder keeping me together. He heard my case, asked a lot of questions and at the end he asked me if I wanted to make a statement. I stood up and said I would. I told him that I felt so bad for my husband falling asleep in his dinner every night from working 18 hrs a day and night on commercial accounts and because he was self-employed, there was no retirement benefits I had. I broke down and he understood. I left that court room confident and 10 days later I got a letter in the mail stating I was going to get my benefits, retro-active as I had been unemployed for over 2 years. I had to wait 4 months but it paid off as my check was $7,000 +. No Attorney, no 33% of my check. All they are is a "mouthpiece".
What I am trying to say is that I don't think any Judge would grant you SSD on the premise of depression alone. Another reason I got my benefits was due to a very caring and supportive Congress Woman who wrote letters for me on my behalf. She passed away last year. She was a gem. I have been on SSD for over 4 years now. I get $822 a month which almost pays out rent of $950 a month. My husband has a new job, a good job and great benefits and he loves it. He travels as a sales rep for a large company in the Northeast/New England area. Southern Vermont and New Hampshire. Like clockwork my check is in the bank every 4th Wed of the month. If you are making $88,000 a year, I don't think that is anything is "sneeze" about. That is a lot of money in comparison to what you would get from SSD. You would probably make around $20,000 a year, give or take. I don't know how old you are and when you started working but if you are self-employed and have been for a while, I take it you haven't claimed Medicare wages? Income? Donno.
Here's what to do. Call SS and tell them you want a statement of your present benefits. They will send you one and each year to follow. It will tel you exactly how much you wold get a month for being disabled, retirement or spousal benefits. Go to www.ssi.gov. You can make a request there. I hope this has helped. Let me know how you make out!