I just feel so messed up and depressed. I have been searching the different sites on the internet for jobs. Have applied for a couple. Sent at least one resume out. There just isnt alot out there that I am qualified for. At the moment I can't call any temp agencies and make any appts because when I talked to unemployment on Monday they said they would be sending me a letter telling me when and what time they are going to call me to "interview" me because I was fired. I have never had to do this before. They said failure to be here when they call can result in loss of benefits. They say it will be 4 weeks before I can even get my first check. How am I suppose to live until then? There are two things I cannot give up. One is my Thur. night dinner with the girls. I will eat light or we will go somewhere with coupons but I have to be around people some. The other is that I see my t weekly but due to the limits of # of visits I get per year I have to pay for every other one. I have to take Cobra but have not got the info on that and I am sure it is about 450.00 per month but my meds alone without insurance will be around 700.00, let alone my t appts and right now I am seeing my pdoc fairly often. We are going to be changing some of the meds I am on I think. I know she is going to take away the xanax, which I am not at all happy about. I have been on it since March 2002. I started it because I asked my pdoc at the time for something as although I love flying, I was taking my first flight since 9/11. I trust my new pdoc and really like her. I went in Tue. for an appt. and she forgot to give me some samples so I went back
yesterday to pick them up. I never expected to see her but she was in the waiting room talking to some lady. She said when she went to bed Tue. she realized she had forgotten to give me the samples. She also asked how I was and I told her not good, she asked when I was coming back in and I said the 15th and she said if I need to come in earlier to call or if I needed anything to call. I have never had a dr. say that to me before. I don't intend to call her and bother her though. I just need to get out of this depression. I dont care about anything anymore. I am barely eating at all.. I tried to get my best friend to do something on Sat. since I need to be around people and she said she was busy with another friend and she knew that I wanted to spend more time with her but that was not going to happen. I guess she is too busy with her boyfriend and her other friend and I dont matter. We are suppose to go out to eat on Thur. but I have not heard from her. I have sent 2 emails yesterday and both have gone unanswered. I know what the problem is. I lost my job and am very depressed and she does not want to be around a loser and someone who is depressed. She would rather be around her alcholoic friend. I guess I dont blame her but it doesnt help the depression.
Sorry to have rattled on.