Hi, I'm new and found the site by googling 30something depression.
My main issue is feeling, for the first time in my life, that I'm too old for certain opportunities, and my innocent, naive youth is behind me. I understand to someone decades older, 33 is very young, but all things are relative. And there's no denying the fact that a 21 year old has more on the horizon. Recently I've been mourning my 20s.
My 20s was filled with exciting experiences and lots of world travel. Now, I'm in 30s my priorities have shifted and it feels like all my experiences don't amount to anything because I don't have a career I love, a family of my own, nor do I have many close friendships (because of all the moving around). I lived a bohemian life in my 20s and now that I'm older and would like to settle down, it seems I didn't play my cards right.
More troubling is the realization that I am probably commitment phobic and have trouble connecting with people, which may be the reason I spent my 20s moving from town to town instead of working a steady job, going to housewarmings and weddings, and building relationships like a "normal" person. I was always happy to have an independent and adventurous spirit, but now at 30something I just feel lost, and pathetic.
I know what many of you may say -- start now to build the life I want. And I have, but it doesn't make the feeling that all my choices in my 20s were wrong, go away. It's too late to go to all the weddings I missed and make the friendships I didn't build. Most close social circles and friendships are established in your 20s. Now people my age are focusing on their families/spouses. Sometimes, there's just no making up for lost time.
It doesn't help that I've moved very far from family in order to get my graduate degree. I'm isolated. And stress from school is enormous. I've become increasingly depressed and don't know if I should drop out and go home, or what I should do. I feel too despondent to make a good decision, especially now that I feel the last decade of decisions were shortsighted. It's all spiraling into many negative thoughts … I'm really down on myself, unable to feel happiness, and anxious.
Sorry for the long post. I'm hoping some folks my age or older can offer words of advice, personal stories, etc.
Thank you for reading.
Post Edited (Laurie79) : 2/2/2014 9:30:56 PM (GMT-7)