I'm sorry this guy led you on, milkhoney. I hurts to feel like you got taken advantage of and deceived. Sometimes you can trust people you meet online and things work out, but the sheer distance of your
locations made this a long shot from the beginning.
As the moderator suggested, it's best to keep yourself safe and avoid getting emotionally attached to someone you can't share real life with. You sound like a smart girl and I hope you are able to connect with friends in your area. If depression is an issue, talk to a school counselor and see if they think you need follow up care. Your life is of great value and you are growing smarter and stronger each day. Please get additional help, ok?