I hope you really don't believe that "when you get the slightest joy, you know that something bad is hurdling toward you"! That's far too negative.
I'm sorry about your two relatives, but the variations on cancer are even much more than the amount of anti-depressants on the market. There is a HUGE difference between any type of cancer - and the same type of cancer but metastisized. It's kind of like the difference between a chest cold and pneumonia.
And finishing a chemo has little meaning. Most people who have metastisized cancer have been on many types of chemo. I've been on four types myself in the past two years along with prednisone + hormone therapy (two types) for three years.
Many people, without metastisized cancer, never go on chemo therapy.
I've thought about my cousin recently, and I'll bring it up at the support group meeting tomorrow - that's run by an oncology RN. But my cuzz, died last week from metastisized melanoma ... and he passed just 9-weeks after the diagnosis.
Knowing him, Mr. tough guy, he would never go to a doctor when something was bothering him. I believe his cancer likely started a year or two ago - then spread to apoint where he finally went in. I think he wasted so much time.
This has NOTHING to do with your two relatives. BUT - it does seem to put responsibility onto an individual to seek help - when needed! I really want this nurses trained opinion on how long someone should have (if it's possible to even determine) with serious cancer diagnosis.
I have had stage #4 cancer for over three years - diagnosed! Attitude helps tremendously. And i think it's very rare that someone really wants to die! So there are ways, besides chemo, to help.
Of the four types of chemo I've been on, two of them were totally worthless - and that's very often the case. Chemo is NOT magic, so finishing a type of chemo rarely has any meaning.
I hope this helps you a little. My cousins sister said exactly what you said about "good people dying" when she called me with the bad news last week. I've had that said about me - by my Mother just before she died 3-months ago.
I told her .... I think it's just a test of Faith! Some of us are made to go thru some degrees of misery - to test out own faith! It's as positive as I could be about it.
A long as you believe in some sort of a higher power, it's a pretty simple conclusion or reason. Perhaps one or both will live another 2 or 3-years - as long as they haven't given up yet.
Growing up can be pretty painful at times. Hope you're OK with all of this.
Peace and wellness
Rob & Gizmo