need help and understanding

Hi,
I'm a 17 year old senior in high school. I've been suffering from major depression and anxiety disorder since I was 12. I've been on anti depressants since I was 14.

There was a time when I first started taking medication where I felt like a million weights had been lifted off of me and I was confidently able to say I was happy and satisfied with the life I was living. But that happiness only lasted a few months and ever since, I've been struggling day after day with no relief from my nearly unbearable sadness.

I've been on just about every medication, I try to exercise as much as possible, I eat well, I practice mental exercises everyday and I discuss everything with my therapist desperately trying to create joy in my life.

I try to find people I can really talk to that understand my situation with depression and anxiety, but no one seems to get it. I find myself curled up on the floor sobbing uncontrollably and feeling terrified that Ill never beat my depression.

Any advice at all would be nice but really I'd just like to hear from people who really understand. It's hard to maintain hope after each year but I need to know that somehow I"ll be OK.

Danske,
First off i just wanted to welcome you to the Healingwell family.

i hate that you've been in such a crappy place(mentaly speaking) for this long and to be no older then you are. I wish i hade some magical words to make things all better for you,but I don't, and for that i'm sorry.
i myself have been taking medication for depression and anxiety for the past couple years and am glad i finally did. things have gotten alot better most days. and on those that aren't good i try to keep in mind there will be tomarrow to try again.
things DO get better, eventually.maybe not tomarrow or the next day, but they do.
come here to vent all you want. sometimes just getting things off your chest, can help alot.

takecare of yourself.
JohnD

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37, Married w/ four kids.

Justing adding my welcome. I wish I had some wonderful insight to help you through this time in your life. I have been there myself and know that it is important to know that I will travel in whatever direction I am facing. It sounds like you are facing a great direction so keep traveling that path because it sounds like peace is at the end of it. Let us know how things are going.

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 First of all, welcome to the group. I think that Randy said it all without saying much. (he has that ability) I wish I did. Sometimes we don't even know why we are depressed but we just are. You have friends here and I hope you can find solace and comfort. Remember you have to crawl before you can walk.