Posted 5/9/2014 2:43 PM (GMT -7)
Unemployment is no fun. I understand. It is also a bit dehumanizing, what with bills coming due, and there being no money to do them.
I quit my job a year ago, for various reasons. It was the right thing to do, but I have yet to find another one, and am substitute teaching. It pays next to nothing. I had to go without insurance for four months, and then I learned how much my meds really cost. The worst day was when I had to go to local charities and apply for medication funds to cover my most expensive med. It is seriously humbling.
As far as ED goes, it's like almost any medical condition that is major in any relationship. I feel bad sometimes my bf has to live with my health stupidity. However, he mostly understands, and it isn't a deal-breaker. There are potential partners out there that are able to accommodate issues, and work with you. Then there are those who are not. With luck, you will find someone who says, 'Yeah? So, is the game on?"
It sounds like you have worked yourself into a bad head space with relationships, and it happens. Bad head spaces with unemployment definitely happen, especially in our United States. And as for taking someone's space, cut it out. You deserve it, too.
Glad you made an appointment as well. You could see if you could get on a cancellation list. What kind of doctor are you seeing? Usually a psych is the first step, to assess whether the person would be better with medication. Then, a therapist/counselor can be scheduled. One thing I have noticed is that getting appointments can be rough until you are in their system, even for civilians.
You could try some self-help books as well. I am a dipper with these for the most part. I read a little, and think on it, and then I move on to something else. So, I am not much help as providing titles. The classic of CBT is Feeling Good.
Keep posting, and realize, you are not alone in your search.
Fibromyalgia DX 2005. Ulcerative Colitis 2003, Crohn's 2013, enteropathic arthritis and Ankylosing Spondylitis, 2013. History of Fibro--2 out of 3 siblings diagnosed. Started SCD-June 2013. *There are three kinds of people in the world: ones who see the glass as half-full, ones who see the glass as half-empty, and others who see a big crack in the side which is leaking all over their %$#@# foot