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does he know he has depression

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Depression
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does he know he has depression  
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toni315
New Member
Joined : May 2014
Posts : 12
Posted 5/23/2014 8:40 AM (GMT -7)
Hey all, I have a partner that suffers with depression but is in complete denial. I have spoken to my doctor and other professionals to get some insight into his illness. A little thing can trigger an abusive episode were Its all my fault Im to blame for everything. He becomes completely unreasonable and irrational. He ends our relationship and this can last anything from a few days to a few weeks ignoring me the whole time then he calls saying sorry and hes back to himself again. I guess what id really like to know is do suffers of depression know after they come out of an episode like this that their behavior was bizarre and they have emotionally hurt their partners. And why are we to blame and why are we abused??? No offence to anyone its just a question that I cant get an answer to. I would really love an answer maybe from someone who has suffered with this kind of depression and could help me understand some more. Is he aware of his actions after the episode passes??? Im there to love and support him but its getting very difficult and this time he says the relationship is over for good, does he mean it?? Please help.
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BnotAfraid
Forum Moderator
Joined : Apr 2012
Posts : 7634
Posted 5/23/2014 9:00 AM (GMT -7)
Welcome to the forum.

There are no real answers to your questions, due to the fact the everyone is different and the variables for causitive factors of the depression, if that is it, are to many.

He could have an underlying personality disorder that is causing the depression or a bunch of other things. Until he decides to get help, he and you will not know.

At this point, you have to make a decision for your mental health. How much abuse are you willing to put up with? NO ONE deserves to be abused for ANY reason. No matter what luggage we carry from the past, everyone is responsible for their own behavior. So the saying "He can't help himself" is a bunch of you know what. YOU are not at fault for anything he does.

You might try to get him to agree to therapy, couples or alone. If he does not, then you have a choice to make.

I wish you peace and courage
Trina
Moderator - Depression
Be still and know there is Peace.

Kabir says: "Student tell me, what is God? He is the breath inside the breath". from the poem Breath.
DX: reverse Trigeminal Neuralgia;Cluster headaches; Atypical face pain;Hemicrania Continua; raynauds;complex PTSD; recurring MDD,disassociative disorder;
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toni315
New Member
Joined : May 2014
Posts : 12
Posted 5/23/2014 9:46 AM (GMT -7)
Thank you for your reply the abuse is getting worse. but like i said hes adament this time the relationship is over and i dnt want it to be. I need to be strong and let him know he needs help.Theres a family history of depression and other factors that relate to him personally thats deep rooted. I suppose the answer I want most and may not get is does he realise after the hurt and pain hes caused?????
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BnotAfraid
Forum Moderator
Joined : Apr 2012
Posts : 7634
Posted 5/23/2014 11:25 AM (GMT -7)
That does not really matter does it? He keeps repeating the same pattern. A very smart women wrote a book on repressed memories, although I think her quote fits in your situation.

"If you want sanity, don't expect it from an insane system"

Peace
Trina
Moderator - Depression
Be still and know there is Peace.

Kabir says: "Student tell me, what is God? He is the breath inside the breath". from the poem Breath.
DX: reverse Trigeminal Neuralgia;Cluster headaches; Atypical face pain;Hemicrania Continua; raynauds;complex PTSD; recurring MDD,disassociative disorder;
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Myself 09
Veteran Member
Joined : Dec 2009
Posts : 6226
Posted 5/23/2014 3:10 PM (GMT -7)
It takes two to make a relationship. You might have to accept his need.

And, no, the idea of understanding actions and relationship closure is not a guarantee that he will get it. You only have control over your own actions, your thoughts, and your understanding.
Ulcerative Colitis 2003, Fibromyalgia DX 2005, Crohn's 2013, Enteropathic arthritis, 2013. Family History of Fibro--2 out of 3 siblings diagnosed. Started SCD-June 2013. *There are three kinds of people in the world: ones who see the glass as half-full, ones who see the glass as half-empty, and others who see a big crack in the side which is leaking all over their %$#@# foot
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