i think i have made my partner depressed because of my own depression

Hello Kitten!!

Welcome to the forum! Good quiestion. You'd probably get a different answer from each response. I know that it is very hard for a guy to deal with a situation that he can't fix. You will probably need to help him understand what you need from him and what you don't need from him.

A book that really helped me see things from a guy's point of very is "Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus". It is NOT about depression, but points out many differences in the way men and women process information and deal with it. It is a good read and readily available at most public libraries.

I think it is a learning process for both of you . . . just make sure to communicate.

Keep us posted!!

blessings!

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In His Grip,

Thanks hon, really means a lot that you replied... it breaks my heart when he cries (usually because he's come to the end of his teather)... i feel so protective over him and i cant take the fact that i am the one hurting him the most- i'll get the book and have a read of it... he's not very open about his feelings- he bottles things up and tries to be strong for me and help me get through the bad moments of my depression- i feel like i have completely ignored the pressure that it has put on him... but thanks for the tip... big hugs... ria x

thanks lefty! feels like there is a ray of light at the end of the tunnel... i have never spoken with people that are sort of going through the same thing- depression that is... right well i'll just come out and say it and hope that no one judges me- i gather that you both have a strong sense of religion in your life- and i thought that i did until i basically turned on my own beliefs which i thing is one of the main reasons why i feel so screwed up. i never believed in having a termination- until last year when i got pregnant- my partner and i decided to have a termination which went against everything i believed in but we were thinking of our selfish lives and it just sort of happened... anyway- since then i have had real trouble dealing with it and my boyfriend thinks that i blame him.. i wish now that i hadnt gone through with it as i am very much in love with him and all i look forward to is the day when we can have children and live happy- but thats the main reason why i am depressed- i feel like i have betrayed my beliefs, has made me question the type of person i am and i feel like i have lost my soul as well as what would have been our baby... i just wish that i wasnt such a burden on him- i feel like i am destroying him just so that he feels the same pain and loss as what i feel- i am in counsilling for my depresion and he comes with me which has helped heaps but we cant attend now until mid sept... i havent had a real low in a couple of weeks but during the bad times i just want to kill myself to end my own torture and the pressure that i put on him... he doesnt deserve feeling like that and i hate myself- we just didnt realise or think about what we were doing and how it would affect us- i mean i was so happy when i found out i was pregnant so why did i do what i did?