Posted 8/23/2005 10:14 AM (GMT -6)
I am new to the site, as a matter of fact, I am new to all of this. And up until early July my life was smooth sailing. Then suddenly, my ship hit an iceberg. I have been reading some of the other posts and feel that my personal afflictions don't even compare to hardships faced by others. I know that I'm lucky, I know that I'm loved, I know a bright future is in front of me and yet, I feel sad. Really sad. Though it comes in spells, when it hits, it hits hard.
This past April I packed up and relocated- new job and everything. I was tired of the long distance relationship with my girlfriend so I made the move, leaving all of my family and friends behind. I lived in a hotel the first six weeks I was down here, in mid June I moved in to her mom's house have been living with my girlfriend, her mom, her step-dad, and her brother who is home from college. But our apartment opens up September 1 so that's something to look forward to. All of this along with the new job, and being seperated from my friends who I have lived with, and hung out with pretty much every day for the past 8 years.
I thought my transition was going well until early July when I had, what was ultimately diagnosed as a panic attack. Athough I wasn't doing anything stressful, or thinking about anything in particular- it just hit me. I couldn't breathe, I was in a cold sweat, dehydrated, light headed, and had an overwhelming feeling that I was going to burst in to tears. That day was also the last time that I had any tobacco/nicotine or soda in my system. But more importantly that day is when my spells began. Sometimes I feel sad, I feel alone. My girlfriend is busy with work and sometimes feel like I don't have anyone to back me up. I have a seperation complex. I get sad, overwhelmingly sad. I get apprehensive. I feel alone.
Someone once told me that "change is good". I just don't know why I am having such a tough time with it. I want my life back, and I need some perspective. This is the first step I have taken for seeking outside advice on my situation- I look forward to your thoughts. Thanks!