I fully understand what you're saying about your Summers.
My 22-years working for myself, as an architect, was never earth-shattering in accomplishments - but I lived it with a passion. That's right - lived it - not just worked it! It was my life. It was me!
When I retired, thanks to health, it nearly devastated me. But - I have been fortunate to have many passions in life. Those passions helped me get thru the forced retirement.
There were times in my past when music was a huge passion. - A long story - but I'll just say that i did eventually get a degree in music theory and composition. Still proud of that today!
There was a timeframe that my passion was sportscar racing. My wife even got into a little of that long ago. Anywhere from driving in an SCCA National Championship once to being an instructor at a BMW driving school - and much in between.
I guess, I do or did many things with a great deal of passion. A few i can't talk about cause they's just too personal!
But ........ as much as you love teaching - don't put all the eggs in one basket. You deserve more. We all do! You can get so much more out of life - and that's in no way downgrading your teaching. Life does have so much to offer. And there's no reason you can't be passionate about those things.
By the way, I've had to chuckle when you've talked about math. Absolutely no disrespect - but eons ago, my parents wanted me to go into math as a career of some type. On the ACT or similar tests, I was in the 97th percentile in math. And there was a stigma of "boring" that went along with that! It just ain't true!!!! But it also doesn't mean you can't find other things to get passionate about!
Have a good Summer searching!!!
Rob & Gizmo