I'm going to assume your name is Nikki ... or Nicole!
I had a very similar situation of no support - but it was from my children. Of course, my mother was also that way to me - but she passed away early this year after years of Dementia. Her level of expertise was in doing her best to make me feel guilty - for almost anything she didn't want to accept - including near failure of her three marriages!
With my children, I had so often felt no support at all from them - but once I placed the cause of that on my own divorce - after 23-years of marriage. I stopped smoking 4-years ago - and never heard one word of "thanks" or "nice job" or anything - from either of my daughters or my mother.
By the way, my oldest daughters nameis Nicole!
Last Fall, I wrote a letter very similar in content as yours. While I do have depression, it is not extreme. But I have had COPD for 7-years or so and metastisized cancer and kidney failure (due to the cancer) for over 3-years now. All three are not cureable .... period!
I wrote this letter mostly for my oldest daughters reaction - but it was sent to them both. My oldest daughter, Nicole, almost agreed to sit down and talk to me - then changed her mind saying it would serve no purpose.
I knew she would take nearly anything in a defensive way - and she did. I would be afraid your parents may do the same. If you have any hope of trying to mend a relationship, try to soften some of the things you said. I'm sure you can appreciate that my motivation was to do that.
In my case, what happened is my oldest, Nicole, became more distant and remains that way today. It is who she is and how she reacted ... and nothing is going to change that - not even my death! Her self-preservation method is to blame others for everything .... and never accept the responsibility herself for anything in lifethat goes wrong. She's 38-years old and has a 12 and 16-year old daughter.
However ...... with my youngest daughter ..... my letter did almost magical things. She e-mailed me right away and said she needed a few days to think about what i had said - before she gets back to me.
She e-mailed me again within a few days and, among other things, told me that she had thought she was a good daughter ... but she now sees some things she should have done. We talked by phone - and then she said she will call me every week.
We exchange thoughts every week, small talk - and are closer now then we had been for many years. So ...... the letter did work withone of my children - but not the other!
Please be careful. Writing a letter or an e-mail is "making a statement and nothing more"! A statement can be misunderstood.
Has your therapist read your letter? My first impression is like it's dropping a bomb ..... and it could be about half it's size - if possible!
I think writing the letter is an excellent idea. Actually, if you don't send it - it was a great idea to write it all out. If you do send it, it may be easier to digest if it were shorter.
Rob & Gizmo