I'm fairlydl new to this forum as well.
I can empathize with how you feel. I was "officially" diagnosed with depression in December 2004 though have probably suffered for a lot longer. I have chronic daily migraines which contribute to it.
I often feel like I'm holding a door closed and behind the door is depression. And you're absolutely right, those days that I make the healthy choices it's a lot easier. Those days I don't I'm bracing myself against the door.
If it weren't for my husband I don't know that I would have got out of bed during the last six months. At the worst I made sure I was out of bed and dressed when he came home everyday. Now I get up with him and go to work again.
Recognizing your challenges is half of the battle. Try drinking pop this weekend or maybe wine spritzers or really light coolers; less alcohol. I drink Perrier; its a fancy drink but no alcohol. If you're sad about being alone do you have any male "friends" you could take with you so you don't feel like you stand out so much.
Good luck! You can get through the weekend!
Coquitlam55 (aka Nicky)
"The world is full of suffering, it is also full of overcoming it." --Helen Keller
I try and remember this each day I have a headache that I'm not sure I can overcome.