I haven't chatted in a bit, but I wanted to say hello and give some thanks to the people whom sent messages of support after my first posting.
I am feeling a little better these days. I was pretty low towards mid-summer but it seems that things may be looking up. There are many reasons for my depression problems as I know you can all identify with. Has anyone ever had the unfortunate moment of one innocently asking you: "Why are you so depressed?" You can usually quickly end the prospective discussion by replying with a deadpan: "You got 3 hours and a good comfortable chair?" In all seriousness, some days are worse than others. (And some days are really really bad.) I have found that when I take better care of myself in terms of the decisions I make, it tends to decrease the bad days considerably. It is easy to surrender to the depression and tell yourself that you don't have the energy to try and feel better. I do that weekly. However, there are so many simple little details that help me get out of bed. Things that keep me going; Singing 'The Itsy Bitsy Spider" with my 3-year old neice, a great television show, a thunderstorm/afternoon nap, and more.
Many of my high school friends are getting married and having babies all at once. I am single...Attending all the showers, weddings, receptions, etc. has been tough. I thought it would make it easier for me to drink heavily at each event. Well, I overdid it last weekend at my best friend's wedding, I woke up feeling sick, depressed and miserable. I have chance to redeem myself this weekend at another friends wedding. I am hoping I can hold on to the same glass of champagne for a few hours and keep my wits about me. This way I won't wonder what stupid things I said and did for the next few months.
I guess I am just venting now but it really does help!