No, you didn't scare me. I was already scared and still am. It's an educated sort of scared, like knowing enough to know I shouldn't play with electricity. I see this as doing exactly that, playing with the wiring in my daughter's head.
With no personal knowledge of any of the drugs used or how people react, I flipped out when she told me the counselor suggested drugs. I decided I couldn't stop it. I wanted her to be under the care of a doctor I knew and trusted (I don't know the counselor). So I got her in with a doctor I've known and trusted implicitely for 30 years. (I'm not the kind to trust doctors.)
He prescribed cymbalta. I read the mfg document, the MSDS, and as many threads and articles as I could find on the internet. I read about miraculous results, I read about disasterous results--and everything in between. With soooooo much variation in personal responses and the way cymbalta and flips from good to bad quickly, I'm still scared--and no one scared me. It's just sensible to be scared for someone you care about.
That said, the results with my daughter have been nothing short of miraculous. She is a delightful and assured now. She is cracking jokes, laughing and having fun with people. After a string of intense relationships that made her sad, seeing her like she used to be is wonderful. She is thinking more clearly than she has in 10 years.
Now if the combination of drugs and counseling work, maybe in the future she won't loose herself in a bad relationship again. I can hope. At the same time, I remain cautious. I'm going to keep checking on her progress and do my best to make sure that she sees the counselor or doctor if anything does go wrong. I am also educating her about cymbalta a little at a time. We will cross the bridge of getting off it, when the time comes, but I will be finding out all that I can about that, between now and then.
For the bulk of the past ten years, my daughter has waivered between I'm an awesome mom and the worse mom in the world. She has directed more tears and anger than joy my way. It's nice to hear something complimentary about me. Thanks. I do like we all do, care, hold my breath, and hope for the best.