We moved into this home about 6 weeks ago. I really felt before we moved that we were being led here by God. Now that we are here, I am miserable. I can't for the life of me see why God would have put us here, or wanted us to be here. Did I misunderstand? I was just sure this is what He wanted for us. We are spending way more in gas, the roof leaks, there is an unidentifiable smell coming from the office, we are having problems with the neighbor children that I don't know how to handle, our insurance has changed (not for the better). In short, I am miserable. My depression is worse right now than it has been in a long, long time.
Now, my psychiatrist put me on Lamictal 5 days ago. It is only a 25 mg dose, and she told me that I wouldn't see a major difference until I got up to the 100 mg dose in about 5 weeks. However, I am having strange feelings, my sleep patterns have changed pretty dramatically, my stomach is upset, and I feel very angry and agitated most of the time. I just don't feel well, I don't feel exactly right, but I can't put my finger on what is wrong.
I feel horrible tonight. We have decided to stay in this house until July and then try to move back to the town where we came from, hopefully buying a house there. I am terrified that we won't be able to find anything when the time comes, or that we won't be able to get approved for a loan. I am begging God to please let us go home. I feel trapped here, and suffocated, and I am terrified that God won't let us go home.
Please, someone, please help me see my way through this. My heart is broken, and I don't know what to do. At what point should I call my doctor and tell her what is going on? Although I was pretty angry before starting this med, it definitely seems worse right now than it did before. I am crying much easier now, for sure. I am so confused and afraid and unsure. Please help me. Please.
Thank you for you help and advice, God bless.