Know that you are not alone in the emotional upheavel that you feel. It does seem like it is for nothing alot of the times. Being married with a supportive husband does not make a difference. Even then they have their moments of having enough, and we have moments of great guilt for bringing our stuff into the relationship. It gets very complicated.
I am going to break the rules and give you a Bible reference in the hope that it helps you in some way. Isaiah 58: 7-8:10
It references helping others. www.volunteermatch.org
is a wonderful site that gives opportunities to helps others at your pace, in your interests. For instance, I love books. So I searched under books. In my area, currently, there are some places looking for people to read to 5-7 yr olds in libraries. I am thinking about
calling and doing this. One hour a weekend.
I know it seems impossible to be able to do anything. However, once we move our muscles the mind will follow, and if we find a small amount of joy, our emotions can change, even if for a few hours.
I wish you peace and strength.