Thanks blueone - your word express exactly the way I often feel. I unsuccesfully tried medicine and therapy before. I decided to try and get help again, since I also don't want to sit around feeling sorry for myself. Occasionally I feel as you described, therefore recently I contacted a Psychologist who refered me to a Psychiatris. The docter changed my medicine. I have an appointment with the Psychologist again on the 4th of October. This time I hope the therapy will go better - in my previous attempt I found that I could not explain to the Psychologist how I felt.
I found that eating healthy and doing some exercise (even when I feel very tired) helps one to feel better.
A support base is important. Do you have family and friends to support you? I don't have that kind of support, but I have a desire to overcome this depression - I have a dream that I want to achieve. Sometimes my goals makes me depressed since it seems unachievable, but most of the times I find that my goals helps me hang on. Maybe it will help you also if you identify reachable goals for the day / week / month or your life.
Lets chat again