Posted 10/3/2005 4:29 PM (GMT -6)
I am 17 years old and have been in and out of the doctors/hospital through the last year my life, I had an accident up at a ski lodge that kind of put my life on hold for a year or so... Within that year i have become very depressed, After my incident at the ski lodge i had post concussive syndrome, which they didnt know which was effecting my functionality i guess you could say, So my depression was being overlooked i believe. I am now diagnosed with something called Vaso Depressor Syncope, (not enough blood getting to the brain) causing me to feel sick and other isseus about to pass out.
I was out of school, not be able to live my teenage life and almost seemed like i was sheltered from society during that year of getting over what i was going through, which brought on the depression. I was put on prozac about 9 months ago and it has helped really well, although im still ocasionally having suicidal thoughts, I have never came out and told anyone directly becuase i guess im scared to, but i have hinted around and made sure they knew what i was feeling. My mom has been great through the whole process.
My senior year of highschool i am back in school, back in sports, to the average person, they would think im doing wonderful. I met this girl that has epilepsy and we have been dating for 8 months now. Although my depression is not daily, it only seems to come back when i get in an argument with sarah. Its really tough. Sometimes the argument can be a misunderstanding, or an actual legit argument. But it starts to get me to my lowest emotional point. She makes me so happy, we have never had real problems, but just arguments that i understand come with relationships. We are a mature couple and lead an adult relationship. Although i dont know how to stop myself from getting so depressed from having in argument with her. I get so depressed it takes me out of school, and my sports. I attempt to go to school when depressed but i end up coming home throughout the day. Like i said, when sarah and i are doing good... I am great.
It seems that im scared of losing her and she is plays the backbone of my wellness. But its getting to a point that she cannot deal with my depression every time we argue. It makes her feel guilty that she put me in this mood, That she was the cause. My depression gets to wher i go home and i cry, my mom trys to help me out and she does, but it feels like the world crashes down on me when sarah and i dont agree.
I guess what im asking is for help to try to overcome this and my wellness not depend on our relationship. She is so very special to me and we have so many great times, i really dont want to lose her. Thanks for listening