I just retired from a Navy civil service job. Here's some comments re base services.
Did you see a corpsman or doctor? If you saw a doctor was it an MD or some sort of a mental health practioner? The latter only come here once a month. Do you have friends on base, who can advise you on who to see? You can also demand to be referred to a doctor in town--that way the Navy insurance pays most of the cost.
I've seen everything from truly great medical care to the poorest possible people at the branch medical clinic. There was a terrible guy on intake just before I left and it took pressuring him to see someone good. He thought he was god or god's gift. Yuck!
The base should have a "family services" office, which is equivalent of mental health. Your spouses unit may have an ombudsman (generally an officer's wife), who helps people adjust to the constant moves, tells spouses about
the services in town etc., and that includes mental health services in town. You can also ask to talk to the chaplain.
Like branch medical the quality varies in all of the above.
Now, here's a comment on the sailors. I never saw as many men gathered in one place with such a large percentage of caring, considerate husbands. It was as if in giving up the stability of living in one place and making friends, the cleaved to their wives in something unique and special.
Uncaring husbands either come that way or can be made that way if their command leadership sucks. Depressed or desperate men in poor commands don't make good husbands for as long as they are in the command. If your guy is NOT in that sort of position, then he might be one of the "other kind," who simply take advantage of the wife's isolation to be negectful and demanding. You need to figure out which you are dealing with.
I was the Mom at our command. This is the advice I gave time and time again:
Since I know how it works, I would call mental health in town first to create the least amount of problem at the command. They will intake you on crisis basis right away. You will have to pay them based on income. If you can't get to town, call your husband's command and ask if they have an ombudsman to get help arranging a ride.
If you can't pay or get a ride, call family services. They also should ask you to come in right away. If they don't, call the chaplain, he's a powerful person on base, and I only saw two in all my years who were no good. They do counseling and can refer you. Believe me, if the chaplin calls the branch medical clinic or family services, you will get different treatment.
Lastly, 50 pounds in 4 months would be a shock to the system, self esteem and everything else that makes us feel good about
ourselves. Now it's time to put that aside, you can work on that later. You identified the only important thing--that you are the best mother for your child and you need to be there for her.
Post Edited (bevhea) : 10/5/2005 11:49:12 AM (GMT-6)