Posted 5/27/2015 3:21 AM (GMT -7)
Me and my partner were together for 2 years, we have travelled the world together many times and were madly in love. He comes from a rich, very close family.. He has always tried to live up to their expectations but never really has.. He has done really well for himself, he is a builder and has a really good life. There were little things wrong with our relationship, but we always got through them..
2 months ago he broke up with me suddenly, pretty much out of no-where.. We have talked about our future and how we could never live with out each other. His moods were always eratic, he would be on extreme highs and then bad lows but i never thought anything was actually wrong..
When we split up, he said that he hasn’t been happy for a long time, but i know that it wasn’t true.. He started seeing a therapist and he was diagnosed with depression.. It was the worst time for me – words cannot describe how broken hearted and devastated i was. The hardest part was, i knew how much he loved me and that he would come crawling back..
A month later, he made me come over and see him and pretty much poured his soul out to me and begged me back.. I said we can try taking it really slow and see how it goes.. we even meditated together. A couple days later he got scared and told me that im never going to trust him again etc so i called it quits and didnt talk to him for 3 weeks because he said it was too hard to talk. It was horrible
I booked a one way ticket to move to vancouver last week, and when he found out he said if i get on that plane, he will loose me forever. The next day he sent flowers to my work and took me on a suprise date.. ( The day that was meant to be our 2 year anniversary ).. So i thought wow maybe he is changing, he opened his heart out and told me everything.. He’s even planning to chase me to canada… It has been an amazing last week until today..
The last couple of days he hasn’t been texting me all lovely or being very affectionate.. i had a bad gut feeling that something was up, and i always trust my gut. I called him today and said we need to talk.. I told him that ive been feeling very anxious about our relationship and that im finding it really hard to get over my insecurities, because he hurt me soo much. He didnt say much in the start, i felt like he didnt want to say anything to hurt me..He then starting freaking out and crying, saying he doesnt know what to do and that maybe we rushed into this, that i am putting soo much pressure on him and that he is trying to get through his depression.. I told him everything is going to be okay and he said ” No i am freaking out, im shaking, im angry, scared and anxious all at the same time, and i keep doing the same thing over and over ” he hasnt spoken to me since and that was 7 hours ago..
Its absoloutely killing me inside, and i dont know what to do – he is a beautiful person, we are best friends and soul mates.. but he keeps doing this to me… and it really is messing me up