I have to admit I have been blessed to have a counselor that cares; and 'gets me'. But I spent years before that pooh-poohing therapy. When I made that decision it was a perfect fit for me. Others just have to keep setting up appointments with different counselors until they find the right fit. I have been seeing that I can be one of my own; when I listen others who sound so much like me. I mean, sometimes another will be talking to me about
something I myself may have struggled with and the way the say it comes across like a mirror; and I will be getting really stirred inside with negative emotions. I will think " Oh my gosh!! I talk like that at times . So this is what I sounds like to others? I called mirroring myself. So I do my own little self evaluation; and ask where I can make a change for the better. Like if I am really feeling that way; what can-and what 'am' I going to do about
it to turn it around in a positive way.
You have to know that sometimes life doesn't always get better. I found that out myself. Some of us just have a lot of negative energies surrounding us.; Some is us and some is others. WE have to learn how to ground that energy; because our life just is what it is; and so many others are feeling so much of what we are too.
But we can learn to live our life better even with the struggles we have. We can let go and move on if we choose to to make our travels here lighter.
Today, I was thinking how weird it is to be 55; having my mom be in he 70's, my children grown-most of them : ). Even stranger having my older son who is a recovering addict; getting on with his own life and 'not needing me'. 25 year old that has his own motivation issues living at home and thinking I want more for him-but I I will miss him when 'he does' move on. I will miss my daughter too. So I am just Also having a It is strange to be older and slowing down, satisfied with just being home, and not having the need to run anymore. There are many things that are so different now that I am older. Getting well is important to me; but learning to live and breath in 'today' each day is an important key to tomorrow's dance. I want to dance to life now. Not keep resisting it just because it seems so full of sadness and regrets. There has to be more.....there is more.