SELF-COMPASSION [updated 6/4/17]

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BnotAfraid
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Date Joined Apr 2012
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   Posted 6/4/2015 9:38 AM (GMT -7)   
If you struggle with negative feelings about yourself, you are not alone, however you can use self-compassion to help overcome the incorrect message you have received in the past.

The following is a quote from the book 'Living with Your Heart Wide open' by Steve Flowers MFT and Bob Stahl PHD

Page 45 "for example, one of Winnie-the-Pooh's most loveable and famous friends, Eeyore the donkey, is stuck in a dismal and gloomy mood that has become his attitude toward life. He entirely believes the story line that nobody cares about him even though everyone around him loves him".

A lot of use, including me are like Eeyore, believing in things people have told his in the past. We need to start believing in the reality of today and what our actions tell us.

Actions do speak louder than words, ever when it is positive!

Peace
Trina
Moderator - Depression

"...when the gift of sight is cause enough for jubilation."
Billy Collins from the poem. HIGH

DX: reverse Trigeminal Neuralgia;Cluster headaches; Atypical face pain;Hemicrania Continua; raynauds;complex PTSD; recurring MDD,disassociative disorder;

Post Edited (BnotAfraid) : 6/4/2017 10:58:13 PM (GMT-6)


AngelLisa
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Date Joined Nov 2014
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   Posted 6/4/2015 10:02 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks for posting, I love winnie the pooh and eeyore too :)
*******************************************************
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Fibromyalgia, COPD, Bipolar II, GAD, sleep apnea, arthralgia, insomnia, paresthesia-bilateral feet, degenerative disc disease, diastolic dysfunction, GERD, Hypertension, lumbar disc disease, urinary incontinence, Peripheral neuropathy, Bells Palsy, Tachycardia, Costochondritis

getting by
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   Posted 6/4/2015 10:29 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks for sharing Trina!!! It is a good reminder!!!

Hugs, Karen...
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fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

pb4
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Date Joined Feb 2004
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   Posted 6/4/2015 1:32 PM (GMT -7)   
I may have to get that book, thanks for posting it!! I grew up hearing how stupid I was since I was a young kid, by my mom of course and what kid doesn't believe their own mom right?! So I'd say yes, it really sticks with you for the rest of your life, even if you work at trying to change that bad cycle of believing it I would imagine it would be really tough to turn that negativity right around but I'm willing to try anything....especially since I LET so many people (starting with my mom) treat me like crap for no good reason (likely their own issues) it's kinda hard when you look back and reflect on decisions you've made in your life that has snowballed into one big ugly mess, not to believe anything else....after all, I did struggle in school (realizing late in life that it may have had more to do with a learning disability probably caused by being smacked upside the head by dear ol' mom frequently) but I definitely grew to end up really despising myself as a result so maybe a book like this could teach me something (though I'm sure my mom looking up at me from hell wouldn't agree).
DX with Crohn's Disease in 1991 shortly after becoming ill. CD was affecting small and large bowel & anus (perianal crohn's skin tags) & rectum for first 2 yrs of becoming sick, CD remained constant in colon (Crohn's colitis) & anus with anal tags, intolerant to oral meds. Currently on Humira (Feb 2014) once a week and B12, Vitamin A and Omega's daily. In remission but trying to combat IBS D/C.

getting by
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Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 41911
   Posted 6/4/2015 2:38 PM (GMT -7)   
PB4, Your mom was wrong about you. You are not stupid...

I think that the book could help a lot of us...

Hugs Karen...
Moderator-Depression


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20044
   Posted 6/4/2015 3:11 PM (GMT -7)   
thx trina. good stuff. and a great thread.
THE HAPPY TURTLE.

NOT DEAD YET!!!!! STILL KICKING AND SCREAMING!!!
'

pb4
Elite Member


Date Joined Feb 2004
Total Posts : 20577
   Posted 6/4/2015 7:10 PM (GMT -7)   
getting by said...
PB4, Your mom was wrong about you. You are not stupid...

I think that the book could help a lot of us...

Hugs Karen...



Thank you Karen, I appreciate it...I'm a work in progress I guess!

Hugs to you!!
DX with Crohn's Disease in 1991 shortly after becoming ill. CD was affecting small and large bowel & anus (perianal crohn's skin tags) & rectum for first 2 yrs of becoming sick, CD remained constant in colon (Crohn's colitis) & anus with anal tags, intolerant to oral meds. Currently on Humira (Feb 2014) once a week and B12, Vitamin A and Omega's daily. In remission but trying to combat IBS D/C.

UserANONYMOUS
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Date Joined May 2011
Total Posts : 4425
   Posted 6/5/2015 5:09 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks. Good reminder... I forget to be kind to myself at times.

UA
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Depression, Borderline Personality Disorder.
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pitmom
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Total Posts : 2182
   Posted 6/5/2015 5:19 AM (GMT -7)   
Ever notice that even though Eeyore was a pessimist, he still got together with his friends?

One of my personal 'mantras' is..."I may not have had a good beginning, but that doesn't mean I can't have a terrific ending!" (not original)
multiple surgeries for rotator cuff both shoulders with residual chronic impingement syndrome, ulnar nerve transposition, carpal tunnel release, wrist ganglionectomies/denervectomies/tenolysis, multiple herniated discs, tarlov cyst, whiplash, bursitis of hips, tendonitis, torus, 3rd degree shoulder separation, torn labrum, ovarian cysts, fibroid tumors of the uterus

BnotAfraid
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Date Joined Apr 2012
Total Posts : 7174
   Posted 6/6/2015 5:58 AM (GMT -7)   
PB4, the book is a wonderful help for me! It can be a quick read, however I am taking it slow and doing the exercises as I go along. Very unlike me, which is why it is working I suppose!

I have nerved damage at the back of my head from my mother smacking my so hard and often. [see my dx] Blackness, falling sickening pain, stars right? Best part was father saying. "Will you stop hitting her on the back of the head, hit her somewhere else!" Nice huh?

No wonder we used to escape into the 100 acre wood and fall in lover with Eeyore!

I have to give credit where credit is due, if my mother had not taught me how to read at a young age, would not have had books to escape into for survival! If she only knew right?

PITMOM: Just with in the last week I noticed that and it was through meditation. How bad is that! Great lesson on TRUST! We have to keep trying. Yes and I like the manta you wrote.

Peace
Trina
Moderator - Depression
Be still and know there is Peace.

Kabir says: "Student tell me, what is God? He is the breath inside the breath". from the poem Breath.
DX: reverse Trigeminal Neuralgia;Cluster headaches; Atypical face pain;Hemicrania Continua; raynauds;complex PTSD; recurring MDD,disassociative disorder;

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20044
   Posted 6/7/2015 6:18 AM (GMT -7)   
'yesterday is a butterfly without wings' this came about in a crisis intervention when the lady was ringing the hospital. i picked up the white board marker, it was red, and i wrote it. she immediately saw it. and asked. it's like the song 'hey you' pink floyd. it has many different interpretations. my saying was on my signature. i have changed my signature a few times. at times i have had no sig.
THE HAPPY TURTLE.

NOT DEAD YET!!!!! STILL KICKING AND SCREAMING!!!
'

BnotAfraid
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2012
Total Posts : 7174
   Posted 6/7/2015 6:32 AM (GMT -7)   
You are a very artful work in progress and joy to behold!
Moderator - Depression
Be still and know there is Peace.

Kabir says: "Student tell me, what is God? He is the breath inside the breath". from the poem Breath.
DX: reverse Trigeminal Neuralgia;Cluster headaches; Atypical face pain;Hemicrania Continua; raynauds;complex PTSD; recurring MDD,disassociative disorder;

BnotAfraid
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2012
Total Posts : 7174
   Posted 6/4/2017 10:08 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi everyone.

The following article I found in American Scientific Mind. It is based on Neff's work and is chock full of good and useful information.

An important point of information in this article is that, in 2012 there was a study done; it was concluded that, "being kind to yourself can make it safe to fail"

I do not remember reading this particular bit of information before, or at least not comprehending the information this way.

It is important for those of us with histories and/or current urges that we battle of self-harm and SI.

Self-compassion is not easy, I can attest to that. However, it is easier that spiraling down, going through crisis and outpatient and all that jazz!.

/www.scientificamerican.com/article/the-self-compassion-solution/

Peace
Trina
Moderator - Depression

"...when the gift of sight is cause enough for jubilation."
Billy Collins from the poem. HIGH

DX: reverse Trigeminal Neuralgia;Cluster headaches; Atypical face pain;Hemicrania Continua; raynauds;complex PTSD; recurring MDD,disassociative disorder;

Dawn85
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2017
Total Posts : 202
   Posted 6/5/2017 12:23 AM (GMT -7)   
That's is awesome Trina
I am working on me day by day. Laughter and playing are our cures! Kids do this, why can't we?

Rx
Trileptal 300mg times 2 twice a day- bipolar
Celexa 40mg 1 time a day- Depression anxiety
Protonix 40 mg 1 time a day- GERD
Loratadine 10 1 time day- Allergies

The Dawn85

Stay strong, stay well and be happy even if it's fake at first.

BnotAfraid
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2012
Total Posts : 7174
   Posted 6/8/2017 2:41 PM (GMT -7)   
Indeed, why can't we?

I try to see every day as an adventure!

Peace
Moderator - Depression

"...when the gift of sight is cause enough for jubilation."
Billy Collins from the poem. HIGH

DX: reverse Trigeminal Neuralgia;Cluster headaches; Atypical face pain;Hemicrania Continua; raynauds;complex PTSD; recurring MDD,disassociative disorder;
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