sorry to hear that things are so difficult right now. One thing I have learned over the past couple of years in learning to live with my depression is not to let the actions of others affect how I am feeling. Difficult to practice, but when I am able to apply it, I am a much happier person. Your wife's depression is hard to live with. Ask my wife, she will tell you what a monster I was. Just being able to find a safe place like HW to express yourself is a great place to start. Keep us posted on how you are doing. Hope more rays of sunlight find their way into your life soon, and again, welcome to our family.
We can respond to irritation with a smile instead of scowl, or by giving warm praise instead of icy indifference. By our being understanding instead of abrupt, others, in turn, may decide to hold on a little longer rather than to give way. Love, patience, and meekness can be just as contagious as rudeness and crudeness.