Posted 10/30/2005 6:50 PM (GMT -6)
Hi JAmes welcome to the forum, I am new to this forum but not healingwell, I usaully post inthe attention deficit or the lupus, but have been so over come woth depression, stress, and anxiety latley I am venturing out to the other forums. I am on 150 zoloft in morning and .5 of klonpin twice a day, still extremly derpressed, and anxious and stressed.
My son is bipolar and adhd, he has just had another med change hopefully fo the better, daughter is mildly autistic, adhd, bipolar and tourettes, and she is probebly going to be getting a med change tomorrow, as what she is on is no longer acheving what its suppose to, its taken me almost a year to find another child phychiatrist to see her, as she was on medicaid due to her sutism, but she was dropped because she is to hi functioning, and my insurance has no one with in 200 miles will see a child, and now finally i found one about an hour away, I can handle that, just hope med change helps, she has multiple issues to many too list, check out adhd forum under the title autism, pdd, adhd, bioplar tourettes, phyzophrenia, it will give the whole story. I complety understnad how you feel that no one cares, as that is how I feel right now, I found out july 28th of this year that my mother passsed away june 28th, she was in an assisted living home in vegas, I am in goergia. A freind out there of hers has been doing the foot work for me, story is she was sick with a stomach ache begining of june, died 3 weeks later of heartatttack. trying to get medical records, and her docotor would not release, so the friend immediatly called the medical examiners to have record sealed so doctor could not tamper with them, when the medical examiners questioned the doctor, he told them to go to hell, and he has now lost his liscne, what has he done that was so bad he was willing to lose his liscence, the medical examiners suggested maybehe took a life insurance policy out on her. She did not put me and my sister down as next to kin, as she has much debt and did not want to burden us, she has mental problmes as well, she was a genuius but along with that came manic depression, anxiety, obesity. She had a long hard sad life, her son my brother was schizophrenic, he died riding a motorcycle which he had know Idea how to ride but thought he could, and went head on to a telephone pole. that was in 1982, i was 13 he was 17, I am 36 now.
I am having a hard time trying to get my mothers medical record to see what happened, I dont want this guy to get away with murder. My half sister was murdered at the age 17 by her cousins boyfriend, my stupid aunt would not take me to the funeral, it was far, i had no car and was a new driver anyway. My moters bofriend who basically raised me killed himlef at the age of 49, I was 10, my own father disowned our whole family when I was 10. Sorry i am just pouring out everything here, as I realy have no where else to vent, and today had to have my neighbor who is the sheriff of the county come shoot my dying cat, to put her out of misery. And really no one seems to care, husband has said nthing. He is upstairs watching a football game. I weigh a bit more than when we were married, i am not obese by any means but still dont look like a model anymore, and he is very into thin women. I dont feel like he is atrrated to me anymore, I feel like he would be better off if we never met me had the kids, so we would not be a financial burden to him,
I m not the best with money, and he is. He has alot of his own stress, drinking is his way of releiving it and smoking, he wont take anxiety or anti deoressants, wish he would, he sure could use some. He told me awhile back he uised to be a free spirtit, now he is not. basically I just feel like burden to him and everyone. I know I sound sucicidal but I am not, that would be very unselfish act, my kids need me, and the few freinds I have need me, and I guess my husband needs me. But I do feel very overwhemled and exhausteed physcially, emotionally , spirtually, I try to remain positve and have faith, it can just be so hard sometimes, I really feell like no one understands, I have been wanting to post on here for awhile but scared to, just as I am scared to tell my feelings and thoguhts to my husband, afraid of rejection, critisicsm etc. but if I cant tell anyone here, then there really is no one I can tell. Sorry James for pouring out my story on your thread, but I just got emotional and really needed to vent. Please pray my daughters pyhciatrist appt goes well tomorrow, my next phychiatrsit appt for me is in two weeks, I think I am going to have him switch me from klonipin to xanax, as i have read it also helps with severe depression as well. Ok sorry for rambling, I do feel better getting things off my chest to someone.
please forgive me for such a long post. JAmes I will be praying your situation improves as well, tkae care...Love....Sheryl