Posted 10/26/2005 7:00 AM (GMT -7)
I have wondered this ever since the supplement (SAM-e) stopped working after the three years I was on it. The depression returned with a vengence, and since I suffered with clinical and chronic major depression for 40 years - I don't remember the depression being that bad. I felt horrible - cried, lonely, suicidal every day, and I don't remember when I was depressed feeling bad every single day. I felt so depressed and suicidal when the depression came back, that I admitted myself to the hospital, and I have never done that before. This is when the Psychiatrists put me on Remeron, which has lifted the depression a great deal. I try to focus on the present and not worry about the "what if's" but it still scares me. I worry about the depression coming back and having to miss work and take medical leave like I did last time. I try to think positive, but the last episode really frightened me, as I am sure it would anyone having to go through that. I am on Remeron now, and worry at times, that if or when the depression comes back, if it will come back worse, if I will have to go back on medical leave and perhaps lose my job. I know that it is illegal for employers to discimminate against mental illness and medical leave, but I know they still do. I was laid off at my last job, and it happened right after I took two weeks medical leave in the three years I worked there. Thanks for listening.