I haven't been here for a while. I've read some recent posts from some of you, expressing how alone you feel. I understand and I hope you find someone to turn to. I too am looking for someone to help me. My depression surfaced after I realized my complusive gambling addiction. Once all was revealed (the debts, betrayal etc.) my life is no longer the same. I've lost my husband, my friends and I'm losing my family. Everyone and everthing I loved is now lost. I'm responsible for all of the pain and suffering. My sister is going through chemo treatments for cancer this week...she's fighting for her life, while I have destroyed mine. I've been with my sister emotionally and physically to support her and help her travel with this horrible disease...I'll never let her down during her illness or when she's well again. Trouble is I have let myself down. I've been involved in regular counselling (for gamblers and depression)...I haven't gambled in a several months but my depression is severe. I am 49yrs old, have a steady secure job, but I've missed a great deal of work lately. I am in financial dire straits...to the point of no return. Counsellors have been helpful in assisting me in my emotional journey, but no one, I do mean no one, has been able to help me in my financial recovery. The burden is enormous and without concrete, realistic help, I can't walk,talk or breath without worry. I'm hanging on for my sister, I'm trying to regain my spirit and I'm praying for a miracle...or two. I try with every ounce of my being to hold my head high and search for answers...I've reached out to those I thought could guide me...my burden is too much for anyone else to bear. I know I have to do this on my own, but I'm stumped and blinded....like a deer in headlights.