Should I be there as a friend or disconnect?
Yes but tell him I also need space to heal - 0.0% - 0 votes
Yes but no contact for 1 month - 0.0% - 0 votes
No self preservation first - 0.0% - 0 votes
Yes all the way and putting feelings aside - 0.0% - 0 votes
never contact him again - 0.0% - 0 votes
Posted 1/24/2016 9:16 PM (GMT -7)
I've been talking to my ex for 9 months and we've been official for 6 months. We met at work; he trained me and he sits behind me. Everything started as any relationship should, slow, fun, and exciting. Once we became official my ex and I discovered a lot of issues he had
Background of him..he only had 1 gf in college for months..after that he just has been dating and messing around with girls. He has a good heart is honest. In his life has had 2 other episodes of depression, one which he injured his knee and could no longer play basketball age 21 and other age 24 when he left a job in IT because was not for him. He fell depression for 3 years. Then a year and half later age 27 got current job. When I started he looked so positive, up beat, ...once we became official he began overthinking my actions, became easily sensitive, insecure ..but despite that he opened up and said how he enjoyed me how he never felt like this for anyone how much he cared and even thought of the future..despite little awkwardness I was happy and our official 3 months he came with speech he needed space ..we almost broke up since I didn't see it coming. He's attitude in life had changed ..I saw him not working out like each morning, not motivated at work, hard on himself and career life health etc.. a week ago he said he thought it'd better if we weren't together. He said was hardest decision but needed to focus on him, he cried, stated how much I meant to him but didn't want to hurt me. He said he knew it was best thing. .he had to work on him. I called next day saying if we're to be friend he needed to seek help how we had talked about. .he snapped and I got upset. He has been attempting to contact me, text, calls, letter and at work but idk what to do.
I have so much feelings for him, he is amazing and hate to see him hurt himself and be different than when I met him. He has a scheduled appt to seek a counselor but idk if I should be there or stand up for myself and realize we are no longer together. It would hurt me to be his friend since I want him as a bf but have accepted what is and I am willing to move on of idea of me and him . He has expressed his care for me, making this so difficult. No other parties involved but he is so depressed only talks to me and no one else or friends know how serious his thoughts get. What should I do in regards to being there for him?! I still have feelings and I know it's not wise for me to risk my own healing process. .but I care.
Posted 1/25/2016 5:59 AM (GMT -7)
Give him space, see how it goes. It could take a long time for him to get better. I would take this one day at a time.
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies
Posted 1/25/2016 6:12 PM (GMT -7)
I am sorry that you are dealing with this. It is hard to love someone with depression. If he needs time to heal and find who he is and get help, then you can support him. Support him as a coworker if you can't be friends. I have been luck in the fact that I have been able to be friends with my exs. If you can not be a support to him then I would say that you need to leave him be. Depression his hard to work through and if you are not feeling like a good support person it will only hurt you both.
Formally Jessica D.
Too many meds to list... I missed this place.